Protection Detail
by LoquaciousLupin
Summary: As she can't actively be involved with the search for Black, Tonks is sent to co-ordinate the protection of Hogwarts and Harry Potter whilst Sirius is on the loose. Whilst there she befriends a charming but secretive new professor. Set during Prisoner of Azkaban possibly AU in later chapters. Rated T for language in later chapters. Remus/Tonks centred fic.
1. Stiffs in suits upstairs'

**A/N - Hello! Thanks for dropping by - So this is my new story, have had it in my head for quite some time but finally having a cold has meant that I've had time to type it up. Those of you who have read my fics before will know that I am notoriously bad for not posting for weeks but I've already written the first five chapters to this one - so we should be okay! This is a little AU - or probably will be later on... Hope you enjoy!**

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 **Chapter 1 - 'Stiffs In Suits Upstairs'**

"You can't be serious?" she heard Kingsley's booming voice just a second before she felt the force of it make the walls in her little cubicle shake. "She's one of the best damn trainees to ever come through this training, Mad Eye's vouched for her, and I'm vouching for her. What more do you want?"

Tonks couldn't hear the reply, whatever Ministry employ Kingsley was defending her against this time, either wasn't loud enough to be heard or brave enough to interrupt Kingsley's tirade. "She's told you herself she knows nothing. She was just a kid when Black got locked up, she only met him a handful of times - he wouldn't recognise her now if she bounded up to him in the street."

For a few minutes there was silence, then finally Kingsley continued. "I'm not having it. I've been put in charge of the Black wizard hunt, it's my neck on the line if he endangers anyone so I need my very best people on it. And Tonks is my very best."

Tonks wanted to run into the room and give Kingsley a great big sloppy kiss and a bone crushing hug. The past few weeks had been utterly shit. Almost from the moment the news broke that Sirius Black had escaped from Azkaban she'd been treated like a leper – despite the different surname, most people at the ministry knew her family history better than she did and there were those that had held objections to her even being allowed to join the Auror training scheme just based on her connection to the illustrious Black family tree; but Moody and Kingsley had fought for her back then and were not proving that they were still willing to do the same 3 years later. It was clear that the brass upstairs were petrified that she was going to facilitate Black in some way – if the name hadn't been emblazoned on the front of every Wizarding newspaper and magazine, she wouldn't even have recognised this man as her second cousin, he certainly looked nothing like the man that waved at her from pictures tucked safely away in her mother's chest of drawers and although she'd been told she'd met him loads of times as a kid, she certainly didn't remember him.

Still it didn't really bother her what the toffee nosed paper pushers upstairs thought of her. Umbridge and the like were all the same. It was all about perception and prestige with those people. What bothered her were those in the Auror department as well as on the training scheme whom she had thought were her friends, now seemed to have backed away from her too. It was as if they thought they might be tainted by an association with her. She'd always heard her father say that it's only in tough times you know who your true friends are – she'd never realised just how true those words were.

Kingsley and Moody. Sometimes it felt like, apart from her parents, who she knew would always be there for her; that was all she had.

Kingsley's voice boomed through her inner pity party "It's my investigation and unless Umbridge wants to come and search with us, you can tell her from me that I'm going to run it in a way that matches my training, expertise, experience and knowledge."

Tonks felt her cubicle wall wail under the shock that hit them as Kingsley exited from his office. "Tonks." He barked, "My office. Now."

Normally one for banter and trying to lighten the mood, Tonks felt that this wasn't really the time and so followed Kingsley without saying a word.

Kingsley shut the door behind them and the pair sat down. "Tonks, I'm sorry if you heard any of that. I know things have been tough for you round here for the past couple of weeks."

Kingsley seemed to have calmed down, if the volume of his voice was anything to go by.

"Thanks Kingsley. I appreciate the things you said. But I don't want you getting into trouble, I mean, I don't want to cause anybody any…" Tonks loved her job, she felt that it wasn't just something to do Monday to Friday to make sure she could afford her dingy little flat. It was a passion. She felt like she was doing something important, making the world a safer, better place. Yet the past few weeks it was as though the rose tinted glasses she'd been wearing all her life had been snatched from her eyes. She was just starting to see all the bureaucracy and red tape for the first time. That appearances were what mattered most to those at the top.

"Tonks, I'm not doing anything for you that I wouldn't do for any other damn good Auror. I need your help on this case, and if the tosspots upstairs don't like it, well then you, me and Mad Eye will have to start our own Private Eye company. Start tracking down cheating spouses and what not." The humour had returned to Kingsley's voice and more because she could tell he was trying to cheer her up than because she actually felt cheery herself, she threw him a smile.

"Thanks Kingsley. I'm sure Mad Eye would love that!" Tonks laughed at the thought of Mad Eye catching a cheating witch or wizard in the act.

"The honest truth is Tonks, I need your help on this one. I'm stretched thin." As if to prove his point, Kingsley's notepad started to buzz, and a voice boomed out from the pad that he was 30 minutes behind schedule.

"You know I want to help Kingsley, but I've been warned word came from Fudge himself, via Umbridge, that I'm not to have anything to do with the Black search." She couldn't help the exasperated breathe that escaped as she finished talking.

"No, it's true I have been given very precise instructions that you are _not_ to help with the _search_ for Black but that doesn't mean you can't be involved." Kingsley had a twinkle in his eye that Tonks knew all too well. It was the look he got when he felt like he'd beat the system. Got around the 'stiffs in suits upstairs' as he usually referred to them.

"I'll do anything if you think it will help." Tonks replied quickly.

"Good. I'm glad to hear you say that because I've had a request from Dumbledore." Tonks' mind began to swirl and for just an instant she felt utterly dizzy. Dumbledore? Kingsley was giving her a task that had come directly from Dumbledore? She knew the faith Kingsley had in her and she truly appreciated it, but she was, when all was said and done, still a trainee. Though she'd finished her training she was still waiting for her final exams to be marked and it all to be made official.

"From Dumbledore?" She squeaked.

"Yes. He's eager to ensure that the castle is safe from any attempts Black should make. Especially in regards to Harry. Dumbledore seems to think it likely that Black may try and seek him out. Or indeed that Harry may try and seek Sirius out."

Tonks felt like she must have nodded off back in her sodding little cubicle surrounded by shit loads of other people's paperwork who were all too busy to complete it because they were out chasing Sirius Black, because this must be a dream, Kingsley couldn't possibly be asking her to do what she thought he was asking her to do.

"Harry? As in, Harry Potter?"

Kingsley nodded somewhat distractedly as he tried to stop his notepad from screaming at him that he was now 35 minutes behind schedule, "Mmmm, yeah. Sorry. Yeah Sirius was Harry's Godfather and it seems Dumbledore feels he may blame Harry for the Dark Lord's demise. It's a long shot, but we certainly don't want to put young Harry in any danger. So I need you to head on up to Hogwarts. Dumbledore has said he will be happy to give you a spare room in the teacher quarters so you don't have to trek to Hogsmeade each night to apparate home. Dumbledore and I agree that it would be better if Harry doesn't know he's being looked after, so if you could use different morphs if you have to tail him on a weekend trip into Hogsmeade or something, that would be appreciated. Dumbledore has ensured me that everyone at Hogwarts will be co-operative, so other than watching out for Harry, really just go up there and see if you think there is anything they can do to tighten up security. Is that okay? There will be other Aurors, but I'd feel safer if I knew you were the one looking after Harry. And I'll make sure they know you're the one co-ordinating things."

Tonks beemed. She knew that Kingsley had far too much faith in her abilities, but just hearing how completely confident he was that she, clumsy, accident prone, Nymphadora Tonks could protect one of the country's most famous Wizards made her almost believe it herself.

"I'd love to. I mean, it sounds great, or at least I think I can do it." Tonks stumbled, trying to sound less excited and more professional.

"Great. Take the rest of today off, sort whatever you need to at home and I'll tell Dumbledore to expect you first thing tomorrow. That should give you plenty of time to get any extra security measures in before the kids all get back. I'll pop down before term starts and see how it's all going."

With that Kingsley stood and opened the door, which Tonks took as her queue to leave, as the door closed she could hear his notepad screaming that he was now 45 minutes behind schedule and they would never find Black with this sort of tardy behaviour.

Walking back to her cubicle, Tonks couldn't believe her luck. She was being given something important to do, on her own. She wouldn't be trailing behind Mad Eye being screamed at for not being constantly vigilant. Kingsley, though he would be checking up on her, was trusting her to go out on her own.

This is why she had joined the Auror department, to make the world a safer place. For now she'd been given the chance to make Hogwarts a safer place, and that felt like a pretty good start.

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 **So that was chapter 1 - hope you liked it! I am always forever grateful for reviews/comments etc.**


	2. He truly became a Black'

**Guys thank you so so much for the reviews. I'm really glad you liked the first chapter - hopefully you'll like this one too!**

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 **Chapter 2 – 'He truly became a Black – In the most atrocious way'**

The windy, wet, dreary afternoon meant that most people in Hogsmeade were rushing around, trying to get out of the unseasonably hostile weather. The annoyance on their faces and their hunched shoulders as they tried to brace themselves against the fierce Scottish winds was in stark contrast to the young woman currently dragging her trunk along the high street. Her vivid pink hair and Cheshire cat grin worn seemingly in defiance to the highland weather.

Tonks was on her way to her first lone assignment. She was to co-ordinate the protection of Hogwarts Castle, its students and teachers throughout the school year. The last few months had been so completely shite, she'd been tainted by a name her mother once had, but people seemed unable to accept that when Andromeda Black and become Andromeda Tonks, she had left the Black world behind for good. The most ancient and noble house of Black would rather kill her than have any further associations with her. Tonks was no more a Black than anyone on the street. The only Black she'd ever met was Sirius, and what she remember of those few meetings could easily be not real memories, but implanted ones she made as she heard her mother talk of him over the years. She knew that Sirius' betrayal had hurt her mum, though they never talked about it – because though Andromeda was a Tonks through and through, some of those staunch Black traits were hard to leave behind.

She was stoic, strong and rarely showed her emotions. In many ways she was the antithesis of Tonks and so Tonks could clearly remember the few times she'd seen her mother cry. The day Sirius was carted off to Azkaban Tonks had found her sitting on the floor of the study, surrounded by photo albums and old trinket boxes, crying unashamedly. Though only 9 at the time, she could still remember it all so clearly. Her mother spent the rest of the day with her, curled up under a blanket showing her pictures of her as a child, of Sirius. Though she couldn't understand her mother's sadness and anger at the time, she could now.

Sirius was supposed to be different. He was the only person in her entire family that Andromeda had felt she could rely on and he too had let her down.

As a child, when Tonks had complained about her full name, Nymphadora – her mother had always chastised her. "Nymphadora," she would say calmly and lovingly, "your name does not define you and it certainly should never constrain or limit you."

She'd tried to be proof of that, living as a Black and yet not allowing that family name to shape and mould her – she'd been so proud that Sirius had fought against those same constraints.

Until in 1981, when he had truly become a Black – in the most atrocious way. Tonks remembered so clearly over the weeks that came, Andromeda crying regularly, once in the arms of her husband as she asked him if she was destined to succumb to the weight and strain of the Black name like Sirius had.

Tonks felt that if anything, she would have been one of the best people to put on the search for Sirius Black _because_ it was personal. He'd hurt her mother like no one else ever had, he'd betrayed them all.

At least now, though she still couldn't search for Black herself, she could be helpful in some way.

She'd make sure that Sirius Black didn't enter Hogwarts.

Her determination to get started meant that even the combination of the wind and her heavy trunk hadn't been able to slow her down.

As she reached the School entrance, the usual nostalgia began to fill her and all thoughts of Sirius were overridden by memories of school feasts, illegitimate late night wanderings around the castle, lessons with old McGonagall and snogging Charlie Weasley under a tree by the lake. Like for most witches and wizards, her 7 years at Hogwarts had been some of the best of her life and she was always glad to be back here.

Filch greeted her at the doors in his distinctive gruff, rude sort of way. He'd never like her – he'd never liked any student, but she prided herself that she would always be on his list of the worst students the school had ever seen, simply because he'd never been able to catch her doing anything wrong. Oh he'd known she was up to things she shouldn't have been, but her ability to morph into anyone she may choose, made it very difficult for Filch to ever prove it.

Tonks was sent in the direction of the headmaster's office whilst Filch carted off her trunk – no doubt to inspect before sending it to her room. As Tonks tread the familiar corridors and passed the old tapestries and suits of armours she began to feel her first pangs of nerves. She was about to address Albus Dumbledore, not as a student but as a Ministry employee, in the castle on official and very serious business. As she approached the office, Tonks neatened her hair, shortening it but keeping it pink and dusted her robe, making sure she looked professional. As she stepped onto the revolving staircase she took a few steadying breathes before knocking on the headmaster's door and stepping inside.

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 **I realise that a Remus/Tonks centred fic must at some point include Remus and I promise he will making an appearance soon(ish!). I'd love it if you could leave me a review :) thanks!**


	3. Naive optimism or assured '

**Hey, sorry for the delay, we've had no electricity or heat for the past week and a half! Thankfully it is now all sorted. As an apology for the delay and because this chapter is pathetically short, I will post chapter 4 later tonight. Just to answer a question that has been asked... the reason the chapter titles have quote marks are because they are generally all quotes from the chapters themselves.**

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 **Chapter 3 – 'Naïve optimism or assured professionalism'**

"…I can't tell you how delighted I am to have you co-ordinating this protection detail Nymphadora" Albus Dumbledore had the usual twinkle in his eye, "I'm sure I don't have to tell you how inconvenient it will be to have the Dementors on school grounds until Black is found, I worry that they will not be a deterrent to just him, but also to the students."

Though Dumbledore always looked calm and as though he had everything under control, Tonks could see just how unsettled the idea of having the Dementors within the grounds of Hogwarts was making him.

"I can assure you the team and I will take every precaution. Kingsley and half the ministry are working around the clock, Black surely will not avoid detection for much longer."

Dumbledore smiled at her, she thought perhaps he was smiling at her naïve optimism, which she hoped would come across more as an assured professionalism.

"And you will personally be responsible for keeping an eye on Harry." It wasn't a question. "I'm not suggesting that he should be monitored 24/7 but particularly if I'm away from the Castle at any time or Harry's Aunt and Uncle decide to let him go on the trips into Hogsmeade."

Tonks smiled once again, she couldn't quite believe how much faith Dumbledore and Kingsley had in her, but it made her fit to burst at the seams. "Yes, I'll be discreet Headmaster, but I'll make sure to check in on Harry each day, particularly if he leaves the castle."

With that Dumbledore clapped his hands together rather excitedly, "Well then, I'm sure I need not have worried, it seems you have everything in order. I've set aside 2 rooms for you in the teacher's quarters, one for you and one for whichever Auror is on duty. Will this be sufficient?"

Tonks nodded, "I will be staying on site until the situation is resolved and I have a team of 3 other Aurors who will be working shifts, so 2 rooms will be perfectly fine Headmaster thank you."

Dumbledore stood and Tonks followed, "Well then, the staff have all been informed of an Auror presence and instructed to co-operate with your team fully. We can meet again tomorrow evening to discuss any suggestions you have about tightening up security."

Tonks was now at the door, "Thank you headmaster, which will give us plenty of time to do a perimeter search and ascertain the level of security already in place."

"Perfect," Dumbledore held open the door to his office as Tonks stepped out onto the stairs, "Oh just one more thing Nymphadora, whilst I am immensely honoured to be able to say I was once headmaster to one of the Ministries finest Aurors, please do call me Albus, or Dumbledore if you prefer."

Tonks couldn't help the grin that spread across her face, "if you insist Dumbledore, but then you must call me Tonks."

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 **I have recently been attending professional meetings with my old headteacher and it is amazing how you instantly feel 12 years old again! So I completely feel for Tonks here. Anyhoo, as I promised chapter 4 will be up later tonight and finally - for a Tonks/Remus fic - our favourite Professor will be making an appearance!**


	4. Who really likes beige'

**As promised - may I introduce you to Professor Lupin...**

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 **Chapter 4 – 'Who really** _ **likes**_ **beige?'**

The castle was eerie when not filled with students. Of course this wasn't a thought she could share with anyone, she was an Auror (technically still a trainee, but an Auror all the same) and she shouldn't feel chilled when walking down an empty corridor. People were relying on her. She'd had 3 years of intense training, during which time she'd fought with crazed criminals, tussled with wild witches and even once duelled with a vengeful vampire. Her training had prepared her for anything and although she still regularly had doubts, she knew that she was a competent Auror.

Still it was totally eerie.

Their perimeter searches had gone well, and Tonks was pleased with the extra security charms they'd added. She'd walked around Hogwarts most of the previous evening and all of the following day and she was exhausted. With so much ground to cover it had been a painstaking process but it was done and now her job would largely be to petrol the castle occasionally and keep an eye on Harry.

Dumbledore wanted to be briefed but she had an hour gap before he would be expecting her – plenty of time for a quick nap – had she really run around this castle only a few short years ago, never tiring from running up and down the miles of corridors and secret passage ways.

The room Dumbledore had assigned to Tonks was incredible. She was sure that every student who had attended Hogwarts had at one time been curious as to how the teachers living quarters looked, in fact she knew because many of her friends had tried to persuade her to morph into one of the teachers and go up there, but she'd always feared that a step too far – even for her.

She'd seen Professor Flitwick heading into a room down the corridor, but she had yet to see who occupied the room next to hers.

The door to her room opened to a living area, complete with a comfortable sofa positioned opposite an enormous fire place. In the corner stood an impressive book collection she was sure her father would envy next to which sat a window seat nestled neatly into the bay window over-looking the lake.

To the right of her living quarters was a luscious bathroom, which she was sure her entire flat could fit inside 5 times over. To the left was a bedroom with a glorious 4 poster double bed, covered with more blankets and cushions than it was possible to need.

Tonks feared the hardest part of this assignment would be convincing her to leave her room.

Still duty called and after a 20 minute nap and quick refreshing shower to revive her, Tonks was once again on her way to meet with Dumbledore.

She knocked on his office door and was told to enter. As she did her foot caught on something – what… a rug – there wasn't one, her own other foot – quite possibly, thin air – likely. Thankfully, whilst she was incredibly clumsy, Tonks also had wicked fast Auror honed reflexes and so it was that she stumbled rather gracelessly into Dumbledore's office – but at least she didn't fall flat on her face.

She smiled at Dumbledore, her cheeks turning pink as he chuckled "Quite an entrance Tonks, I was just telling Professor Lupin here that I was sure you'd make an instant impression on him." For the first time, Tonks noticed a man sitting in one of the armchairs across from Dumbledore's desk. He was thin but seemed sturdy, sensibly dressed in a beige cardigan with brown trousers such a similar colour to all the wood that made up the furniture in Dumblefore's office that Tonks felt sure that had Dumbledore not pointed out his presence, she may not have noticed him at all.

Until she saw his face.

His face was in such contrast with how he dressed. A mop a sandy coloured hair lolloped over his forehead, drawing her gaze to his eyes, deep green and displaying a sparkle often seen in Dumbledore's big blues. His face was etched with a few white lines at differing angles – clearly scars, her Auror training told her that much, but from what she couldn't tell, he seemed too placid to have so many scars, so plain, so…beige.

She had taken this comprehensive assessment of him in just the first few seconds – Aurors had to appraise people quickly – so she felt it was rather rude of her to judge him on his clothes or his looks, especially as it was the character trait she hated most in other people. Maybe, she thought with a smirk, he just really likes beige.

Who on earth really _likes_ beige!

Dumbledore assured Tonks that she could speak freely in front of Professor Lupin and so she filled him in on the additions to security that had been made, "We've put detection charms on all known tunnels and passageways leading in and out of the castle. I tweaked them slightly so that they only activate for someone who isn't a known student – I didn't want to spoil the fun of any students who might happen to have discovered the secrets of Hogwarts that kept me entertained for so many years."

Dumbledore smiled, "But of course, we don't want to deter the students from roaming the castle and having fun, we just want to ensure they are safe. Did you find everything else to your satisfaction?"

Tonks nodded, we've deemed it best that all four of us shall be on duty when the students arrive. The chaos of the first day of term would be by far Black's best chance of getting to Harry or into the Castle. I will then ride up to the Castle in Harry's carriage with a handful of other students."

At this the man in beige cleared his throat and looked at Tonks apologetically, "Sorry, but if I may," he looked from her to Dumbledore who nodded, then back to her, realising he was waiting for her approval she nodded too, "is it wise for Harry to be accompanied to the Castle so closely. That is to say, might he feel a little put upon by having an Auror follow him around the minute he arrives. Whilst we all know it to be necessary, Harry knows very little about Sirius and the role he played in, in the," Lupin cleared his throat, "well about what he did."

Tonks was not upset by his interruption, he seemed genuinely concerned for Harry, but she didn't know how to respond. She wasn't ashamed of being a metamorphmagus, but it wasn't something she generally blurted out to every witch and wizard she met. Thankfully, Dumbledore spared her any further turmoil, "That won't be a problem, Tonks is very skilled at concealment and disguise, Harry need not know he is being accompanied by an Auror."

At this explanation she saw Lupin visibly relax. After a few more details were discussed, the three began to say their goodbyes. The professor standing to leave first.

"I must be leaving Albus, I need to sort out a few things before the start of term."

Dumbledore stood and nodded, "Yes, thank you for coming in to see me today Remus. You've got your ticket for the Hogwarts Express? Are you sure that you'll be able to bring all your belongings with you on the train, I can arrange for someone…" Remus cut Dumbledore off.

"Albus, I assure you I have little that I need to bring, you have supplied me with such beautiful living quarters, a few clothes and books is all I shall be bringing with me."

Dumbledore smiled and patted Remus on the shoulder, "Very well, I look forward to seeing you at the feast. I'm so glad you accepted my offer Remus, it is so very good to see you back amongst these old walls."

Tonks watched as something silently passed between the two men, Remus clearly thought very highly of Dumbledore and vice versa. As Remus left, Dumbledore turned to address Tonks but she was already stood ready to leave too.

"Sorry Dumbledore, I just had a thought. I'm going to catch Professor Lupin before he leaves. We'll be doing a final walk through tomorrow before the students arrive, I'll be sure to inform you of any issues."

With that Tonks ran down the stone steps and into the long corridor, Remus was taller than he had seemed slouched in the comfortable armchair and was already halfway down the long stretch.

"Professor Lupin!" Tonks shouted, as she did so she could hear her mother's voice telling her how unladylike it was to wail at someone, but desperate times… Lupin stopped and turned, giving her time to jog along the corridor and catch up with him. "Sorry to shout after you! I just wondered if you could do me a favour." Lupin was smiling at her, a smile that she found for some reason she couldn't fathom, quite disarming. "Erm, well, yes – so I wanted to be on the Hogwarts Express, or at least there to check it before the students arrived but Dumbledore wants me here when the students arrive. If it's not too much trouble could you just do a quick sweep of the train before the kids get on."

Lupin continued to smile, "I'm happy to help in anyway I can Miss, Tonks is it?"

Tonks couldn't help but smile back. "Thanks, and it's Tonks, just Tonks."

Remus took the hand she offered and shook it, "Tonks then, and please call me Remus."

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 **Yay! Now they've met - and are on a first name basis (sort of), the fun can begin! Hope you enjoyed this - oh and if you have any particularly strong feelings either way about the colour beige - feel free to leave a review and let me know :D**


	5. Thank God for the man in beige'

**Thanks for sticking with me guys! Sorry about the delay, been lots of issues with our** **electricity, thinking we had it fixed but it was just toying with us! So internet access has been limited. Anyway enough of the excuses, I'm really enjoying writing this fic, I've always wanted to do a POA fic with Tonks and Lupin so I'm hoping you're enjoying the ride with me!**

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 **Chapter 5 – Thank God for the man in beige!**

Tonks was fuming, what were the Ministry thinking – allowing Dementors onto a train full of school children. This wasn't just about finding Black for them anymore – it wasn't about making sure Harry and everyone else was safe, if it was then Aurors would have been the ones to check the train. No this was Fudge and his embarrassment that Black had managed to escape from Azkaban and the further embarrassment that the Ministry couldn't find him. People were already beginning to whisper that if Black wasn't caught soon, Fudge should hand in his resignation. Fat lot of chance there! Fudge wasn't a bad Minister to work for but it wasn't a secret that he liked the power the job gave him, he wasn't in it for the people or to make a difference like Tonks, Kingsley and Mad Eye were, he was in it for the status it could provide him. She knew if it came to it, others lower down the food chain would get blamed for Black's continued ability to evade capture.

Remus had sent word via Dumbledore that although he'd checked the train before departure and found nothing unusual, the Dementors had boarded and one had begun to perform a Dementors kiss on Harry.

Harry Potter! The very student she was supposed to be protecting hadn't even arrived yet and he'd already been attacked by a Dementor! She was upset with Dumbledore, she'd told him she wanted to be on the train, but she was furious with herself. Dumbledore had called her in as an expert in protection and as a dark wizard catcher – she was the Auror and she should not have backed down so easily – he wasn't her head teacher anymore, she had a job to do and she knew that she was going to need a bit more confidence in herself if she was going to do well.

She should have at least contacted Kingsley and asked him to send another team down to travel on the train – but she hadn't and it was too late now.

Thank God for the man in beige!

She couldn't allow herself to think about what might have happened if Professor Lupin had not been there. The kids would be arriving any time now – she had Perkins stationed along the platform, Braithwaite guarding the main gates and Wainwright standing guard on the main doors just in case Black somehow managed to slip through.

Tonks stood on the platform too, though no one would have recognised her. Her nose was a cute button like nose, her eyes a piercing blue, she'd fashioned her hair after a woman she'd seen in Hogsmeade earlier that afternoon, a short bob with tight curls in what looked like a blue rinse, although she decided at the last minute to make it brown, so she'd blend in more – she'd try the blue rinse when she was off duty. She retrieved bits of Hogwarts uniform from the lost and found, hoping that in the hubbub of arrival, no one would pay her too much attention.

As the train came into view, Tonks stepped back into the trees just behind the platform. She kept her eyes peeled on the train, she needed to spot Harry as quickly as possible so she could make her way to the carriages with him. She'd seen many posters of the Boy who lived, and had been studying his picture, as well as that of his two best friends Ron Weasley, Charlie's little brother and Hermione Granger, all morning – Dumbledore had told her if she spotted either of them Harry would likely be nearby.

The chaos and confusion as the students began to disembark from the train was worse than Tonks remembered from her own school days. Still her 3 years of training had prepared her for situations just like this, she focused on breathing slowly and repeating her objective in her head; find Harry Potter, find Harry Potter. As she was scanning the platform, for a second she could have sworn she spotted Charlie swanning down the concord, however she quickly realised it was in fact Ron and just as Dumbledore had predicted, Harry and Hermione were walking alongside him.

As she slipped out into the crowd and began to follow them she noticed that Professor Lupin was walking with the 3 students, talking happily as they made their way to the self-pulling carriages. As they got to the carriage, Tonks stood in line behind Harry, Ron and Hermione. As Harry climbed on and took his seat, she felt herself relax, they were that much closer now to him being safely inside the castle. Professor Lupin helped Ron and Hermione and they climbed up into the carriage then held his hand out for Tonks.

Tonks wanted to tell him just how grateful she was he'd been there to help today, but she knew he wouldn't recognise her. "Thank you Professor," she said anyway, smiling as she took her seat opposite Harry who smiled at her politely and grunted a very quiet – what she assumed was a hello, and then they spent much of the journey up to the castle with friendly chatter between the 3, Ron very interested in the feast they'd all soon be heading to, Hermione eager to get their reading lists for the term and Harry enthusiastic to get back to playing Quidditch.

The ride up to castle was uneventful as Tonks had hoped it would be. They were all now in the Main Hall tucking into the most wonderful feast. Tonks stayed long enough to see the first years sorted into their houses, something she'd always enjoyed watching as a student and then as the distraction of the food had appeared on the tables in front of them she'd quietly slipped away. Joining Wainwright the pair had helped Filch close the castle gates and checked all the security charms were still working, they'd then done a perimeter search just as a double precaution.

That was it – they'd done it. Day one of protection detail was done and apart from the tiny incident with a Dementor – Harry was – largely – unharmed.

One day – and she was already exhausted. She hoped, not for the first time, that they would find Black quickly.

Slowly, because she had no energy for anything else, she walked towards her room, meeting no one on her way except Peeves who was already enjoying the mischief of having students to terrorise again. As she rounded the corner and entered into the wing which housed the staff living quarters she stood at the bottom of the spiral staircase, wondering whether she had the energy to walk up that many stairs. Eventually her need for a refreshing drink and a long shower enticed her to use her last ounce of adrenalin and climb the stairs. As she approached her room, she noticed that the door next to hers was open, curious to see who would be sleeping in the room next door, she tentatively popped her head around the frame.

"Hello" Tonks called, "Is anyone…" as she stepped around the door further, she saw a flash of beige enter from the bedroom carrying a pile of books in one arm and a teapot in the other.

"Tonks! How nice to see you again," Remus said as he placed the books on the coffee table.

"You too Professor, sorry, I was just being nosey and thought I'd see who my neighbour was. I'm next door." Tonks couldn't help but smile – he really had saved her bacon today.

"No, no please do come in," Remus looked around the messy room and began to move boxes off of chairs, "I was just about to make myself a cup of tea" he said, waving the pot at her to indicate the trueness of his statement, "can I interest you in joining me."

The intrigue she felt in finding out how someone who seemed determined to wear beige could have so many scars and such an enticing charm, allowed her to forget her exhaustion. All thoughts of a shower and bed slipping her mind.

Stepping fully in the room she took the seat he offered. "Tea sounds lovely thanks."


	6. There was always a joke to be told'

**Hey guys, sorry for the delay - this whole issue with our electricity is just getting ridiculous! We're still no where near finding the answer which means we have limited power, but I'm writing whenever I can and I already have the next couple of chapters written up so I should be able to post a bit quicker... thanks for sticking with me! Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

 **Chapter 6** – ' **There was always a joke to be told, a prank to be played and fun to be found'**

"You mean he actually _caught_ you? Filch!" Tonks leant forward in her chair, eager to hear the rest of the professor's story.

"Oh no, well I mean we _were_ still in his store room when he walked in but James was the master of diversion. Drove the poor man crazy with the tales he used to weave. He transfigured a pack of gum from his pocket and made them vivid, bright, multi-coloured strips of what he convinced Filch were exploding pastels. Told him that I, as a model prefect had just confiscated them from some second years and as we were nearby we thought we'd just put them straight in his room. Filch always fell for his nonsense."

Tonks couldn't stop laughing. They'd been talking like this in the evenings for the first few weeks of her assignment, she always loved reminiscing with fellow Hogwarts alumni but Remus' stories were the best she'd ever heard.

"I'm suitably impressed Professor. I rather boastfully assumed that I was the only one who had ever managed to fool Filch but I believe the Fooling Filch crown probably rightfully belongs to you and James." Tonks slipped off an imaginary crown and handed it to Remus, who took it gleefully and pretended to proudly place it on his head.

The more time she spent with Remus Lupin the less she understood him. In some ways he was so stoic, so straight-laced, intelligent – a professor through and through. Yet as she listened to his stories and spent time with him, another side of him always seemed to emerge, an energetic, utterly charming story teller who had certainly been as mischievous, if not more so, than herself at school. He was an enigma, a contradiction of terms, so lively and fun some evenings and yet so placid and peaceful on others.

And then there was the beige.

No matter how nice he seemed to be, Tonks found it hard to trust anyone who owned so many different items of clothes in beige, it didn't fit his personality.

Still she was thankful for the friendship that was growing between them. It was tougher than she'd thought protecting Harry. Even in just the first few weeks of term, as she had followed him discreetly around the castle she was beginning to get a bit fidgety. Tonks liked action – not that she wanted Harry to be in any trouble, but since the incident on the train everything had calmed down and she spent most of her time wandering around the castle, doing perimeter checks and playing exploding snap with Wainwright. The only time she really got to talk to anyone interesting were the times when Remus would pop by for a cup of tea or she'd knock on his door of an evening.

She'd felt an instant connection to him, a kinship that she couldn't explain. Like something in her just knew that she could trust Remus Lupin with her life. She felt safe around him, safe not just in the physical sense, but also safe to be herself without ridicule or judgement. She'd almost told him about her morphing abilities but something had stopped her.

A feeling.

A feeling that more rightly belonged to a teenage girl than a bloody trainee auror.

A feeling that she really cared what he thought about her.

A feeling that if he reacted as many had before, with instant distrust, she'd be truly hurt.

The feeling that she _liked_ him.

It was undeniable, though she'd certainly been trying to deny it for weeks now.

He was much older than her and would of course never be interested in her foolishness. He was a professor, well travelled, knowledgeable.

And then there was the beige... she had to admit, it was an attraction that had grown on her. It wasn't as though she'd seen him in his cardigan and felt weak at the knees; but as the weeks had passed, somewhere she'd begun to see past the attire and look at the man. The thought made her blush - he was really quite attractive.

Remus seemed to have been just as pensive as she was but finally broke through her thoughts as he spoke, "Padfoot was the one who really rubbed Filch up the wrong way, but always managed to talk himself out of detention, Peter was never so lucky. Padfoot even once managed to get Filch to apologise to him and give him back an item he'd confiscated. Charming so and so, Filch fell for it every time."

Tonks was always taken by how much fun Remus and his friends seemed to have had at Hogwarts, though she'd got up to quite a lot of antics with her friends too, she'd never really developed the bond she could tell Remus had with his friends, the way he talked about them easily revealed how much he loved them. "Padfoot seems like my kind of guy, I love anyone who can talk their way out of a bad situation. You two must have been great friends, you smile a lot when you talk about him and James and Peter, but him especially."

Remus stood up and took both of their tea cups to his desk to refill them. Turning back he handed her cup to her and took a seat, sipping at his tea before responding. "I suppose I always looked up to him. He didn't have an easy upbringing but he never let that define him. I wanted to be just as carefree as he always seemed to be – even when the world was falling down around him, there was always a joke to be told, a prank to be played and fun to be found."

Tonks smiled as she put her cup down on the table, the twinkling in Remus' eyes and his distant far off look told her he was reliving some adventures in his head as he talked about his best friend.

"Padfoot – that's an unusual name. A surname I suppose, it's not a Wizarding name I'm familiar with, was he muggle born? What was his first name?" Tonks wasn't prejudice, many of the best witches and wizards she had ever met had been muggle born, she was just curious, being part, however distantly, of one of the biggest Wizarding families in Britain, she was always intrigued by how all Wizarding families seemed to connect to each other somewhere down the line.

Remus sat frozen in his chair. Cup midway in the air as though he'd forgotten what he was about to do with it. Slowly he regained some composure and placed the cup on the table.

"Forgive me Tonks, I'm afraid I have a sudden headache, I've still got so much marking to do, and I promised my 4th years their hinkypuff essays back this week. If you wouldn't mind…"

Remus stood and motioned towards the door. He seemed to be – albeit very politely – throwing her out. Dazed and more than a little confused Tonks stood to leave.

As they approached the door, Remus opened it and stood holding it open, looking outside, towards the window, at his desk – anywhere other than at her.

"No problem Remus. I hope the headache passes quickly. Hopefully we can continue the stories soon." Tonks gave Remus her biggest grin, the one always destined to get her just what she wanted – when the person it was aimed at bothered to even look at her, which Remus did not.

"Perhaps." He replied curtly, then as she stepped out of his room and turned back to face him, he added, more normally and Remus like, "Goodnight Tonks. Thanks for the chats, it's always much better to reminisce with a friend and then alone. Good luck guarding Harry."

With that he closed the door.

Had Remus Lupin just said goodbye to her? That is how it had felt. He'd wished her good luck… wouldn't he be seeing her tomorrow and the next day? What the hell had just happened?!

Tonks trudged slowly next door, suddenly feeling rather dejected and drained. She quickly got ready and slipped into bed, allowing herself to mull over what on earth had just gone wrong. Had she done or said something? She was always putting her foot in her mouth. As she drifted off into a fitful sleep, she hoped her subconscious could make more sense of it than she was able to.

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 **Thanks for sticking with me guys - I've wanted to write this story for awhile and am really enjoying it! Please leave me a review to let me know what you thought...**


	7. Alone'

**I'm so sorry for the delay! We've had Ofsted in at work - anyone outside the UK ... they are inspectors who ensure that the standard of teaching is up to snuff and they leave no stone unturned... it has been a stressful month to say the least! However nothing is a better at helping me de-stress than Remus or writing about him. So... onwards we go - Thanks for reading!**

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 **Chapter 7 – Alone**

Remus stood leaning on the window sill in his living quarters, admiring the landscape. As the air that swirled around the trees on the grounds of Hogwarts became brisker, as though warning that winter was on its way, Remus was certainly feeling cold.

Cold and alone.

 _Always_ alone.

It wasn't something he usually dwelled upon. It was simply his lot in life – he'd learned that at a young age. It seemed everyone he got close to, everyone he had ever cared about, eventually he'd lose them. Some he'd just lost contact with, some he'd grown apart from, some had been murdered, and one had gone to prison for mass murder.

After everything that life had thrown at Remus Lupin, most days he was just happy to be alive. Then there were the bad days, the ones where he felt guilty that he'd survived where his friends had perished. Better, wiser, kinder people than he had been taken and he'd been left behind. It didn't seem just, it didn't seem fair to him or them. He'd been left alone and with a sense of duty.

Of course in those first few weeks, in the aftermath of the war he'd contemplated joining his friends. What had stopped him at first was the feeling that he simply didn't deserve to, a coward and a beast who had failed to protect his friends; how could he even be sure he'd see them on the other side.

Then Dumbledore had stepped in. He'd given him a month to wallow alone in the middle of nowhere then tracked him down and told Remus in that voice which even years after leaving school still told Remus there was no room to argue, that he had arranged a job for him working as a Professor's assistant in Geneva, Switzerland. It was a chance at a new start.

Dumbledore had also reminded him what his friends had died for and that to not live the life he was now free to would be dishonourable to their memory.

So Remus had started his new life in Switzerland. Just as the Muggles in that country, the wizarding world was very neutral – no one seemed to care what he was or wasn't, no one asked questions. Remus found that everyone seemed to accept him without needing to know too much about him and that suited him just fine. Of course this meant that whilst there was always someone he could chat to over a quick bite to eat, the friendships he made were shallow. None of those people really knew who he was or anything he'd been through.

If they did they probably wouldn't have had anything to do with him.

It was an unfair assumption he knew, but an assumption he wasn't willing to allow anyone to disprove. At least as long as he kept people at an arm's length, when they did leave him, like they always did, it wouldn't hurt quite so much.

But since he'd arrived at Hogwarts a month ago, he'd already broken his own rules and really he had no one to blame but himself.

He'd known taking this job was a risk, moving back to the UK and at the very time that Sirius had escaped from prison – he knew people would talk and he suspected that Dumbledore had bought Remus here to protect him, whether it was from Sirius or himself he wasn't sure.

The breakout was certainly trudging up old feelings for Remus along with the urge to wrap himself into that cocoon of mystery and solitude that had protected him for the past 13 years. He was so proficient at putting on a front, a calm, professor like front that he thought he could hide the turmoil inside even from Dumbledore. No one needed to know just how much Sirius' escape had messed up Remus' head. As long as he kept it under the surface – pretended that all the memories, all the pain were locked in a vault somewhere deep in his mind that he couldn't access, he might, somehow just get through this like he had the last time.

But then she'd broken through.

All she'd asked was "What was his first name?" and he'd wanted to fall on his knees in front of her and tell her the whole blasted story. The _whole_ story, the parts that no one knew, not even Dumbledore.

He'd seen the signs, the way he felt a little nervous excitement whenever she knocked on his door, the way he could recall exactly how she looked when she laughed, the pang of jealously he felt whenever she mentioned Wainwright or any other guy that could see how beautiful and talented she was. Remus was falling – and not like a feather, floating slowly into a pool of reciprocated feelings and happy ever afters, but like a cannonball speeding towards a fiery furnace of "Why the hell didn't you tell me you were best friends with the man I'm trying to capture and imprison" and "Get away from me you dirty Werewolf."

She was so young, so beautiful, so funny and stubborn. He knew he should never have allowed himself to become acquainted with her, but she had seemed too determined and it had become very quickly apparent that Tonks usually managed to get what she wanted.

The past few weeks in her company had been the happiest Remus had _allowed_ himself to feel in over 10 years. Meeting someone, realising there is a connection, common interests and an instant spark; for the first time in an awfully long time, Remus had almost felt normal.

Just a man who likes a woman.

Just a liar who likes a woman.

Just a beast who _liked_ a woman.

In that moment of weakness, as Remus fought with himself and managed, somehow to keep his mouth shut, to not throwing himself at her feet and beg her to understand him, his story – he'd known.

He'd have to do what he'd done so many times before.

Distance himself.

Become a recluse – it had only happened once before and that time, he'd allowed it to go too far – he'd allowed too many people to get hurt just so that he could feel… something, anything.

Not this time. He'd distance himself, he'd throw himself into his work, he'd make excuses for his inability to spend wonderful evenings listening to her stories and sharing tales of his own.

He'd make sure that once again, no one cared enough for him to notice.

Notice that he was closing himself off.

Remus felt a chill entering his quarters, he closed the window and made his way to the sofa where he took the blanket and wrapped it around himself for warmth – though it did little to warm his soul as his mind repeated the word that had haunted much of his adult life.

Alone.

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 **I can't but apologise for the utter desperation and sadness in that chapter but I felt that it needed to be in there. We hear so little about what Remus went through in those 13 years between Lily and James dying and Sirius finally being freed - it must have been awful for Remus. However I promise that brighter times are to come and that a certain pink haired witch is going to brighten up Remus' life - literally :) Reviews are encouraged and ALWAYS appreciated :)**


	8. He'd been the exception to her rule'

**So I know that last chapter was a bit rough... I'm not going to promise this one is much happier - but guys, if you've read my stuff before you'll know I'm just setting the ground work for all the feels and happiness coming this couples way... and there will be plenty of funny and joy. Just in between real life... :) Sooooo please stick with me! For now, Tonks may need some comforting guys...**

* * *

 **Chapter 8 – He'd been the exception to her rule**

Tonks couldn't help but feel sorry for Harry. He had to be one of the very few third years who was left behind as the rest of the school abandoned the castle and congregated in Hogsmeade. It had always been a highlight of her time at Hogwarts. Dumbledore was worried that Harry would try and sneak off to join his friends and so had asked Tonks and her team to keep a close eye on him. She was to stick close by him in the morning and Wainwright would be taking over in the afternoon.

She'd almost felt guilty as she'd morphed into the lanky, skulking form of Filch and suggested that Harry go back to the Gryffindor common room – she hadn't really expected him to, nor did she have any interest in forcing him to lock himself away. It would certainly be safer for him to stay in the common room but Tonks remembered her own wanderlust when she was a student. She followed him as he sulked, trudging along the corridors then she stood outside the defence against the dark arts classroom as he spoke with Remus.

Tonks felt bad for listening in to what turned out to be quite a private conversation but she was as impressed with Harry as she knew Lupin was. That he was more afraid of the Dementors than Voldemort spoke volumes but more than that she was impressed with Lupin. He'd been so honest with Harry, not hiding his concern that the boggart might turn into Voldemort and he'd said his name; even some members of the Auror department still wouldn't do that.

Although she was happy that Harry was safe and distracted whilst his friends were undoubtedly experiencing what would become one of their most treasured memories of their time at Hogwarts – their first visit to Hogsmeade; she couldn't help but feel, as she sat outside Professor Lupin's office that she'd rather be anywhere but there.

Things at Hogwarts had started off well for Tonks, she'd settled in to her role as team leader better than she'd expected, with none of the resistance she'd feared from the Aurors under her command. None of them seemed to mind being told what to by a trainee, perhaps because she was diplomatic and only played the team leader card when a definite decision needed to be made quickly – generally they decided everything as a team working alongside each other rather than as a hierarchy.

In the first few weeks she'd had the added benefit of Remus's company in the evenings and at the weekend when she wasn't on shift. She was amazed at how very quickly he had become part of her routine, she'd been convinced that a steadfast friendship was forming between the two of them but had clearly misjudged the situation.

It had been almost 2 weeks now since Remus had said little more than a hello and a goodbye to her. He was always polite when in her presence and never ignored her when they passed in the hall but he didn't seek out her company as he once had, nor accept her offers of friendship. In fact it seemed that Remus Lupin was trying, in his own gentlemanly like way, to make it painfully clear that he had no intention or desire to become friends with Tonks.

Much to Wainwright's delight.

He'd been juvenile in his jealously towards Remus at the beginning of the term, indirectly complaining about the time Tonks spent with him. They'd had a complicated relationship throughout their time training together, a year ahead of her, at first he'd supported and helped when others in her year had taken a dislike to her simply due to the Black family connection and the ease at which she aced her Disguise and Concealment assessments. However this support had quickly morphed into, Tonks had to admit to herself, a _mutual_ admiration and they'd begun to spend much more time together. Of course dating a fellow trainee Auror, whilst not absolutely forbidden, was certainly frowned upon and so they'd kept everything fairly casual. It wasn't until she'd suggested one evening, after six months of their developing friendship, that he take her for a drink, on a proper date, that he'd told her he'd love to, but it would have to be platonic. They'd have to remain just friends because – surprise, surprise - he had a partner. A girlfriend that he'd been with for over a year.

She'd felt like a complete idiot at first. Had she really misread the signs for 6 months? Was she so full of herself that she'd just assumed he liked her the way she liked him?

It had taken a week, several bars of Honeydukes best chocolate, far too many bottles of wine as well as a stern talking to from her best friend Trixie before she'd been able to accept that she'd done nothing wrong and it had been Wainwright who had acted deplorably.

They'd drifted apart after that, until an assignment had thrown them back together about eight months before Sirius' escape. The problem was, although Tonks knew Wainwright had a girlfriend, the information didn't actually change how she felt about him. He was still smart, attractive and able to make her laugh with very little effort. He still made her feel important and valued, still looked out for her without being condescending or patronising and despite everything they'd been through, they still enjoyed each other's company.

In the end it had taken Tonks 6 months and a massive argument with Trixie before she realised just how unhealthy their relationship had become. They certainly weren't having an affair, she'd never even consider it, but she couldn't in good conscience say that they were just colleagues or friends either. Somehow, somewhere they'd stepped over a line that was difficult to see.

She'd backed off completely, shutting herself off, distancing herself, not just from Wainwright but from most of the rest of the Auror department too.

Alone.

If this was how much it hurt to try and be with someone, she was better off alone.

She knew she was strong, resilient and independent. It wouldn't take her long to heal, but she did need to heal. It felt like she was ending a relationship, although technically she hadn't been in one, she went from talking to Wainwright every single day and seeing him most days, to occasionally having to work with him.

Of course Black's escape had made it easier to distance herself from everyone at work because none of them wanted anything to do with her anyway. By the time Kingsley had suggested Wainwright as one of her team, she knew they'd had enough time apart and she'd been hurt enough the first time around to not let things get complicated this time.

They'd be friends nothing more. She often tried to make sure that he was on alternative shifts to hers and made the effort to always give him the weekends off so he could go home to see his partner.

She continued to keep her distance from everyone. For her own safety.

Except Remus.

He'd been the exception to her rule.

Quite a bit older than her and so professor like, he'd seemed harmless. Like someone she could confide in, become firm friends with without the possibility of ever getting hurt.

How could a man who owned so much beige ever hurt anyone?

But hurt her he had.

She could see what he was doing, because she'd done it herself to Wainwright and her colleagues.

He was shutting himself down, closing himself off – distancing himself.

Distancing himself from her.

They'd known each other for such a short time that she knew it shouldn't hurt her so much but it did. Maybe because she'd liked him more than she was willing to admit after the ridiculousness of her situation with Wainwright, but mainly because, once again she felt alone.

Always alone.

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 **Urgh men right? Right?**

 **Urgh women right? Right?**

 **Lol affairs of the heart are never simple! Please give Tonks some love...**


	9. She'd actually snorted in Dumbledore

**Hi all, sorry for the delay on this one! So many excuses that I know you aren't interested in, but essentially they amount to life. Thanks to those of you who have stuck with me! I'm grateful for every review, favourite and follow, I truly I am.**

 **So this chapter ties in with the end of Chapter 8 of Prisoner of Azkaban - more Tonks/Remus interaction soon, I PROMISE. :) This one is a bit shorter than most chapters, but this was the best place for it to end. Next chapter will be longer.**

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 **Chapter 9 – She'd actually snorted in Dumbledore's face.**

Of all the professors that didn't want to attend the feast that night, why did it have to be _him!_ Tonks pulled the billowing robe she was wearing from under her feet once more, she was only half way to the hall and she'd already nearly tripped at least 7 times. Why was his robe so long? She'd never really thought about it before, but now she was wearing the robe herself it seemed ostentatious. He was so much taller than her, she had just assumed as a student it seemed long, but she'd definitely morphed herself to the perfect height and still the robe seemed to have yards of unnecessary material that was trying to kill her with every step she took.

She was sure when Dumbledore had informed her that he wanted her at the feast and that one of his staff members had given him notice that they did not wish to attend themselves and they would not be at all offended or upset if Tonks borrowed their identity for the evening and morphed herself to match their person exactly, that he must have been talking about a very open minded and kindly professor such as McGonagall or Flitwick. After all there were still so many people that simply didn't trust Metamorphmagus', some even still seriously believing some of the most ridiculous myths like that when a metamorphmagus transformed into another person they were not only able to identically match that persons outer features but could also access their thoughts, feelings and memories. It was complete tripe, but the sort of prejudice that Tonks had put up with all her life.

So when Dumbledore informed her that the forward thinking, helpful Professor was in fact Snape, she snorted.

She'd actually snorted in Dumbledore's face.

Thankfully he seemed to find the funny side of the whole situation and laughed at her astonishment before assuring Tonks that Professor Snape had indeed given his full support and permission for her to borrow his identify for the evening.

The hall was decorated beautifully. Halloween and Christmas were always Tonks favourite times at Hogwarts. The castle never felt more magical than during those two feasts and although she was grateful to be able to be a part of the feast and eat with everyone, not alone in her room as had become her routine when not on duty, she couldn't help but feel frustrated that it hadn't been Professor Flitwick who had lent her his identity. He was sat to Lupin's left with Professor Sprout on his right and the three chatted amicably throughout the evening. She tried to focus on her food and talk to Dumbledore whom she was seated next to, but try as she may her eyes kept drifting over to Lupin without her permission or understanding.

Why did it bother her so much that he didn't want to be friends with her or spend any time with her? It wasn't as if she hadn't faced rejection from men before. Still something bothered her about the last time they'd properly spoken, how it had seemed like something had just snapped inside. He'd gone from companionable, gentlemanly Remus to ushering her out of his room without any explanation. They hadn't argued, she was pretty certain she hadn't said anything offensive and she'd run the conversation in her head over and over again. Yes, that was it - what frustrated her most about her situation with Remus was that she was certain she'd missed something – and Nymphadora Tonks hadn't gotten through Auror Training by missing things. She was observant, or nosey as her dad liked to label it, she listened and she picked up on things, things people didn't necessarily want others to know about. Perhaps her metamorphmagus abilities did make her more sensitive to what other people were thinking (though they didn't allow her to steal people's memories like many of the prejudiced morons she'd come into contact with thought), she did pick up on emotions and Remus had seemed relaxed that night, until the end of the evening when he'd all but thrown her out, then he'd seemed sad and even a little terrified.

But of what?

She realised that she'd been staring at Lupin for an awfully long time and she needed to redirect her gaze; although the thought of students gossiping about how Snape couldn't keep his eyes off Professor Lupin at the Halloween feast almost made her tempted to carry on.


	10. Bloody Incompetent Fool

**I am SOOOOOOO sorry! I know I promised I would post regularly and I tried I really did, but having written the whole fic - my laptop died once again and I lost the whole thing! This story just won't leave me alone though, so here I am again and I WILL finish it this time. I will, I promise, I WILL!**

 **So stick with me and lets get back to Remus and Tonks and how in this AU(ish) fic, they meet in POA.** **Thanks so much for your comments and asking me to carry on - my time to write is limited these days - but for all those encouraging comments, I finish this fic for you!**

* * *

 **–** **A bloody incompetent fool.**

As the feast wound down, students slowly started to make their way back to their dormitories. As was always the case with these sorts of occasions once a few started to exit, the masses would soon follow and so it was that the feast naturally seemed to have come to an end. As the students filed out, the teachers stayed where they were knowing it would take a while for there to be a clear exit route.

Dumbledore was just in the middle of a particularly fascinating story about when he himself had been a student when a young Gryffindor ran into the Great Hall.

"Professor Dumbledore, sir, come quick. The head boy asked me to fet…"

As he ran up the long divide between the doors and the head table, the poor boy seemed to trip over his own feet. Tonks felt for the kid, if he was lucky, he'd grow out of it – luck hadn't been quite that kind to her.

Dumbledore along with Lupin, herself and McGonagall hurried over to help up the poor boy but once it was ascertained that he was okay, Dumbledore came to Tonks, asking her to get as much information from the boy as she could before joining him, then he disappeared – he didn't walk through the Hall, he was just gone. Tonks had waved her wand discreetly, knowing the other teachers were focused on the boy and sent a Patronus to all Aurors patrolling to be extra alert. Until she knew exactly what had happened, that was all she could do.

The student, mortified that he'd ruined his task by falling flat on his face, wanted nothing more than to get out of the hall too. Tonks couldn't help but notice how kind Remus was to the small boy, how much care he took to make him smile. Being as Tonks still held the façade of Snape, she made herself stand back, she doubted very much that Snape would get down on his knees and tell the boy about when he'd once tripped over in his first year at Hogwarts and thrown an entire Pumpkin pie all over Dumbledore – that trait was pure Remus. Once the poor lad was back up on his feet, in her best condescending Snape-like tone, Tonks asked the boy, if he was finished with story time, if he'd like to explain to them as clearly as possible what had happened. Once she'd gotten everything she could from the slightly trembling boy, the three of them hurried along to the Gryffindor tower, the backlog of students meant they had to push their way through but eventually they reached Dumbledore who was talking to Peeves.

Tonks couldn't remember much of what Peeves had said, she knew he was enjoying the spectacle, but all that had really stuck in her head was his last sentence before he'd floated off up the corridor – "Nasty temper he's got, that Sirius Black."

From that moment on until nearly dawn it had been scenes of chaos and pandemonium, at least in Tonks' head. You couldn't really panic around Dumbledore; the man was so maddeningly calm that in his presence it was impossible to feel anything other than serene, or at least give an outwardly appearance that you felt serene. As soon as the kids were safely in the Great Hall, Tonks had sent a Patronus to Kingsley, asking for extra Aurors to both stand guard and help search the grounds. Having already searched the grounds herself twice, she found herself wandering into the Great Hall, Dumbledore and Snape were together in the middle of the Hall discussing – what she didn't know. She assured Dumbledore with all the poise and confidence that she could muster when she was feeling like such an abject failure, that her team had searched the grounds and that Black was not anywhere, the children were safe, as was the castle.

Even now, over an hour later, she could still hear Snape's sneering voice whispering through the Great Hall, "Whilst I'm certain the assurances of a _trainee_ Auror, family member of the mass murderer, whose job it was to stop any breach in the first place will appease us all, perhaps it might be wiser headmaster to await the word of a fully qualified Auror to deliver their opinion on the impenetrable nature of a castle that Sirius Black, was able to break into not hours ago, apparently without help."

Of course the embarrassment and disappointment she felt was only compounded when Snape snarled at her, "Of course I'm happy to help with the security of this Castle in any way I can, but I would prefer Miss Tonks, if you would not hide your failure by making it whilst assuming my form."

In the frantic search for Black, she'd completely forgotten that she was still morphed to look like the surly Potions Professor. She'd never forgotten she was morphed before, just one of the growing list of mistakes she'd made this evening.

The early hours of the morning had been spent with Kingsley, who after sometime with Dumbledore had come to speak to her. She'd been convinced that he would fire her on the spot. She'd go from the youngest Auror ever to graduate from the training programme, to the youngest Auror ever to get fired. What would her parents say? Her mum would probably be happy to have her home, away from the danger, her dad would just give her a hug and let her cry, she could probably do with a good cry right now, and a hug.

However, Kingsley hadn't fired her, he hadn't even berated her. He'd congratulated her quick thinking in sending for him and in how she'd dealt with the Aurors who had come to aid in the search, the only thing he tried to tell her she probably shouldn't do again, was stay morphed when dealing with the coordination of an Auror team – apparently half of the Aurors had been petrified of her/Snape – she had wondered why not one of them had questioned her authority. Even when explaining the confusion she had caused, Kingsley couldn't properly tell her off, too busy trying not to laugh at the thought of some of the toughest Aurors in the United Kingdom, quaking in their boots having had orders from Snape.

Only now, as the sun was rising fast, was she just climbing the stairs to the teacher's quarters. So tired was she that she barely noticed that Remus' door was open, but ever the competent Auror it did register in the back of her head somewhere as she unlocked her own door and entered her chambers. She headed straight for the shower, desperate to wash this awful evening out of her hair. After 20 minutes of just standing under the steaming hot water, Tonks finally felt the adrenaline of the evening begin to leave her and she found herself craving that hug from her dad more than ever.

She left her hair it's natural mousy brown colour as she always did at bed time and changed into a comfy, if not completely unflattering pair of Pyjamas and plonked on the comfy sofa in front of the fire.

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 **So I hope that was worth the wait... okay, so I _know_ it wasn't, but it will get better from here on in, I promise! Next chapter might even see Remus AND Tonks, in the SAME ROOM having a civil conversation... I really do spoil you guys! :D. **

**Would love to hear if you're happy I'm back, hate me for leaving you hanging or just what you thought about this chapter!**

 **Next chapter soooooooon...**


	11. Ne needed to mind his Ps and Qs'

**Hello all - thanks for the follows and favouriting of this story, I'm so grateful to those of you who have stuck with me! I was going to post this tomorrow but as I'm at a family wedding, now seemed like a better idea!**

 **I don't currently have a beta (as I'm sure some of you will have spotted - silly mistakes slip through), so if anyone is willing, I'd be beyond grateful!**

 **For now - hope you enjoy...**

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 **Chapter 11 – 'he needed to watch his Ps and Qs'**

"If you're finished with the bedtime stories, could you tell us exactly what happened tonight?" Remus turned to look up at Snape as he berated the poor, clearly anxious boy who had only been trying to help. Why on earth had the prefect sent a first year? The boy stood silently terrified, "Please."

Remus mouth fell open, it had happened. He'd have bet every Galleon, Sickle and Knut he had that Snape would never utter that particular word to a student, yet he had and _thank Godric_ Remus had been there to hear it. Suspicious though he was of a well-mannered Snape, it seemed to have had the desired effect on the small boy who at last seemed to stop shivering and tell them as much information as he had – which wasn't much. Leaving the Great Hall, Remus followed the other Professors as they headed to the Gryffindor Common Room to see if they could make more sense of what was going on. As they neared the last set of stairs which led to the Portrait of the Fat Lady it became difficult to move as students had formed a blockade, leaning on each other and standing on tip-toes to try and get a glimpse at what was happening. Amongst the jostling and murmurs, Remus caught Snape, now a few stairs ahead of him, asking a student to move out of the way " _Please."_ Twice in one night! If something serious wasn't happening Remus might happily feel like it was his birthday or Christmas. He was trying to withhold his mirth for later, when the current situation was over and he was on his own when he heard Peeves say, "Nasty temper he's got, that Sirius Black."

Remus was suddenly glad to be surrounded by so many students, as a wave of dizziness made him swirl slightly on the spot before he regained his composure just in time to see Snape high tailing it down the stairs shouting in his ugly, menacing voice, "Sorry, excuse me, please move!"

Remus didn't know which was more unlikely – that Sirius Black really was loose in the castle or that Snape had suddenly decided he needed to watch his p's and q's. As Dumbledore directed the students to follow McGonagall and the prefects into the Great Hall, Remus was finally able to speak to him. "Do you really think it could be true…" Remus asked barely above a whisper, the hurt, anguish and anger of the last 13 years threatening to cascade out of the carefully locked vault Remus stored it in.

Dumbledore placed a hand on Remus' shoulder and looked down his long, thin nose, over his half-moon spectacles and gave Remus a look that made it impossible to feel anything other than serene. "I have no doubt that he was here, but I don't expect him to have lingered. Still the castle will be searched until we are in no doubt. I suggest, Remus my friend, that you head back to your quarters and pour yourself a nice cup of tea. Camomile always works for me in such situations – once you've checked all is well with the students in the Great Hall if you wouldn't mind. I'll be there myself as soon as possible." The students now all gone, Remus began his descent down the grand staircase before Dumbledore spoke again, "I can assure you Remus, with Nymphadora already on the hunt, if Black _is_ still here, we'll find him."

Nymphadora? When had Tonks arrived? Remus had assumed that she was off duty this weekend as he hadn't seen her in the Great Hall as he'd expected. Come to think of it, for someone who was supposed to be ensuring the safety of Harry, he rarely saw her at all. Sure they passed each other occasionally in the corridor but not enough considering she gave herself very little time off. Remus hadn't really thought about it before, he'd simply taken Dumbledore at his word that Tonks was in fact top of her class at disguise and concealment but he hadn't realised she was so good he wouldn't even notice her!

Remus had stayed longer than he really needed to in the Great Hall, hoping rather foolishly that if he waited long enough he might see Tonks and be able to… what? Say hello, pathetically ignore her whilst constantly wishing that he could spill his guts to her and tell her every single story, secret and wish he'd ever had?

What?

Be able to what?

He really was weak and pathetic and the thought that Sirius Black really had escaped jail and was wondering around Hogwarts was making him even more so. He realised what he wanted more than anything was to be back in that place with Tonks where just for a few evenings he'd felt _safe._ As though he could be himself.

But he could never truly be himself. Around anyone. Always too engrossed in ensuring his mask didn't slip, that no one saw the anguished, guilt-ridden, cowardly Remus that he tried to hide so much, he never truly allowed himself to relax and enjoy being in the moment.

Until Tonks. The hours he'd spent with her, sharing stories were the realist moments of his life he'd shared with anyone in a really really long time.

And keeping up the pretence, the focus it took to hide himself away, it was exhausting. It was a mixture of that exhaustion and the desire not to get into a passive aggressive discussion about _'helping out old friends'_ that led Remus, as he saw Snape enter the Great Hall from a door in the corner by the teachers table, to leave and head back to his room.

As he was leaving he heard Snape telling one of the distressed first years to stop snivelling and shut up otherwise he'd hand him to the dementors.

Remus hurried his gait so as not to hear anymore of Snape's attacks of the defenceless first years. He fought against every urge to turn back and say something to Snape about his lack of manners…

His lack of manners…

Remus' brain was whirring so fast he was finding it hard to keep up, it was as though his head had been slowly putting together a puzzle but had decided there was no point informing him until it was sure it was on to something and Snape's manners had just formed a new piece of the puzzle that fitted in perfectly and was making an almost discernible picture… almost.

How could Snape go from saying please and excuse me to threatening dementors onto a 12-year-old boy – serious or not.

Though Remus reached his room long after midnight and knew he should just go to bed, his brain was not willing to let this puzzle go yet. It was so frustrating – like playing a game of Pictionary with Sirius when he'd repeatedly shout, ' _come on Remus, you know it, you know this one_ ' whilst drawing something so appalling that Remus couldn't even tell which way up it was supposed to go.

His brain had figured out the puzzle and was just waiting for Remus to articulate it –

ARTICULATE WHAT? He really hated his own head sometimes…

He spent the next hour or so with a book trying to block out the insistence of his brain that he was missing something obvious. He instead tried to concentrate on his book and listen out for Tonks returning to her room. He knew she was his best bet at this time of night of finding out exactly what had gone on – if, after weeks of, not very subtly avoiding her, she didn't just slam the door in his face.

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 **So originally this chapter continued into the next and became a HUGE thing of it's own that had stopped listening to me. I suddenly understood how Dr Frankenstein must have felt! So in an effort to take control once more of this fic, I decided to end this chapter here - that does mean the next chapter is a bit longer than this one... During which I can tell you - Tonks and Remus actually interact... together! I know I'm a terrible person for making you wait this long! More sooon. Please keep commenting! :)**


	12. Son of a B

**Thanks for the reviews and follows all. Means a lot!**

 **Chapter 12 – Son of a b…**

"James be careful! Please." Remus sat back in his chair and laid a hand on top of Lily's.

"I think James is more in danger of getting hurt than Harry," Remus couldn't help but chuckle as he looked back at his friend playing with his son, who was currently dashing in and around the dining room on a very ickle broom chased by his rapidly out of breath father, "what was Sirius thinking? Buying a broom for such a young lad." Even as he uttered the rebuke, Harry gave the biggest, cutest giggle which ended with what would have been for an adult, a very undignified snort but which on Harry was just adorable. "Well, it does seem Harry likes it. Lily, stop fretting, he'll be fine. James won't let any harm come to him." Knowing this line would have more meaning to Lily than most, Remus gave her hand another squeeze.

"I'm scared Remus. I know it's silly and we just have to carry on and I do because I don't want Harry to notice anything is different, but I am, I'm scared, what if…" Lily looked away from Remus, unable to verbalise that thought.

Remus shifted closer on the sofa to a woman he loved so much, in his heart she was absolutely a sister, "Lily, we'll protect you. I'll protect you and Harry. I promise, I'll never let anyone hurt a hair on either of your heads." The earnest promise seemed to have done the trick for now, as Lily lent into Remus for a one armed hug. She looked up at him and smiled sadly.

"He who must not be named really is a SON OF A BANSHEE."

Remus jumped back at the sudden change in volume. "Never thought I'd hear you use such language Lil." Remus smiled at his normally placid friend.

"James! Please! I think that's enough now, he needs to calm down before bedti…"

"Oh for GREAT GODRICKS SAKE! THESE UNICORN TURD ROBES!"

Remus could feel the vivid images of Lily, James and baby Harry fading into the mist. He tried to ignore the sounds outside of his quarters and go back to that place, to a time when his friends were all still alive; but it was gone once more.

"DRAGON DUNG!"

Now fully awake, Remus could discern that the rather loud, angry profanity he could hear was in fact coming from Tonks, who by the sound of it, had fallen over in her robes. Now awake, he had to admit, she wasn't being all that loud, only that in the still of the night in a quiet castle, every noise seemed to echo and sound like an explosion.

He thought about putting his head out of his door to check she was okay, but he thought it would be politer to let her get settled before he barraged her with his questions… that and he was a bit scared of angry, probably tired, Tonks.

After about 10 minutes, Remus mustered up all of his courage and slipped onto the corridor outside his quarters and quietly walked next door to Tonk's room.

He stood outside motionless. What if they'd caught Sirius? Did he want to know?

Of course, he did. Catching Sirius would be a good thing – he deserved to be in Azkaban for the rest of his life. He was a danger to the public and, people kept telling him, Harry.

What if Sirius had been found and was being passed over to the Dementors for them to perform a kiss? Remus had been told so many times that Sirius had been the one to betray his friends, to betray him. That he'd killed muggles just to get rid of Peter – the only witness. Remus had seen the evidence in the weeks and months afterwards. He knew it was true.

And yet…

If Sirius _had_ been caught and handed over to the Dementors, that wasn't something Remus wanted to know about.

Before he could retreat into his quarters, Remus wrapped his knuckles lightly on Tonk's door.

"Who is it?"

He heard her enquire. Her voice sounding tired and unsure.

"It's me. I mean Remus. It's me Remus." Remus hand balled into a fist which he bought to his mouth, chewing on the knuckle of his index finger. He was just an idiot. The wait seemed to last an eternity, while Tonks neither answered or seemed to move.

"Come in."

Remus heard the lock to Tonk's door click open and he took a slow deep, steadying breath before pushing open the door and heading inside.

Tonks was curled up on a sofa in front of the fire, legs underneath her, a blanket draped over her legs. She seemed to have been watching an old muggle TV, which now seemed to have been paused – by magic Remus assumed.

"Hi." Remus whispered feebly. He hadn't meant to whisper, but his voice had betrayed him at the last second.

"Hey." Tonks replied, only a fraction louder.

Remus motioned to an old armchair next to the sofa and Tonks nodded. He settled in to the chair and cleared his throat a few times, wondering how to offer an apology for his abrupt end to their blossoming friendship without explaining. Always the coward – he had barely looked at Tonks and when he did look up, the words spilled out of his mouth without his consent. "Your hair is different."

Tonks looked immediately self-conscience, running her fingers through her hair and shrugging. Quietly she mumbled, "Oh yeah sorry, I wasn't really expecting visitors, I know it isn't a great colour on me."

Remus whole heartedly disagreed. It was a wonderful colour on her. If only he had the courage to tell her so…

"I think it looks lovely." Remus smiled. It wasn't a heroic statement but it was more courageous than usual for Remus.

Tonks seemed for a fraction of a second to blush, before her cheeks appeared perfectly porcelain in colour seconds later, "Thank you."

Remus didn't mean to sit and stare, he really didn't, but Tonks looked so different, so natural, so – Tonks like. "Er, anyway, I just wanted you to know that I realise tonight must have been tough and I thought I'd pop in and offer to make you a cup of tea." With that Remus stood and began looking for Tonk's kettle which he found along with two chipped tea cups.

As Remus set the kettle boiling, Tonks sat quietly, so quietly that the sound of her voice a few minutes later actually made Remus jump slightly, "Why?"

More silence…

"Why now? Why the friendly neighbour, make sure you're okay, cup of tea nonsense now? Why not last month or last week? Why today?" Tonk didn't sound mad but there was something accusatory in her voice.

Remus fumbled over his reply – "I… sorry, well I just, can't. I'm not….Sorry." Remus ran his fingers through his hair and sat on the edge of the sofa next to Tonks. "I am. Really. Sorry. I'm not used to having friends, I mean to getting close to any friends, to be close with…" Remus sighed heavily – "I lost a lot of friends in the great war Tonks, almost everyone I cared about either died or was lost for ever in other inconceivable ways. I suppose, over the past 13 years, I've become quite adept at putting up a wall, never allowing myself to truly be friends with anyone, until you. I could feel us becoming fast friends and I just couldn't allow myself to do that to you – or to me. I'm sorry."

Tonk's face had softened and she was leaning forward, after what looked like a moment's hesitation, she leant over a picked-up Remus' hand and pulled it into her own lap, holding it on top of her tartan blanket.

"I can't say I wasn't confused, maybe even a little hurt, but oh Remus – I can't even imagine what it was like, how hard it must have been."

Remus could see he was forgiven – even though he didn't deserve to be. Oh how he wanted to tell her the whole terrible story.

He couldn't.

After a moment, Tonks patted Remus' hand. "So, I believe you barged in here, promising me a cup of tea." The beaming smile Tonks gave Remus was more than he deserved and honestly, it took his breath away just a little.


	13. Good one Tonks

**Authors note: Hello! I mean, I feel at this point, you're all probably feeling that apologies from me regarding the sporadic updating of this fic are empty...but I can assure you they aren't! I really am sorry. My laptop (which if you've read my other fics you'll know how unreliable it was), finally died a death. Even now I have a perfectly working laptop, as much as I'd like to give guarantees the next chapter will be up by a certain date, we all know I won't stick to it. However I promise I WILL finish this fic... I have the whole story in my head and it is one I've waned to tell for a long time! With that in mind, if you're enjoying this fic, please consider giving the story a follow, then you can come back to it each time I add a chapter. This fic is slightly AU and assumes that Tonks, when morphing can morph clothes (I mean she can turn her nose into that of a ducks...it's not impossible! I really hope you enjoy!**

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 **Chapter 13 - Good one Tonks!**

The wind howled as Tonks wandered down from her quarters, she'd had a message to say that Harry was already out of bed and had been in the Great Hall from early that morning but seemed fine. Tonks and her team had been keeping a close eye on him since the incident at Halloween, but there had been no more sightings of Sirius, the murmuring from students had just about died down and if Tonks knew Harry – which she didn't, but if she could remember what it was like to be Harry's age, which she could, the past few weeks Harry was probably more focused on Quidditch than anything else.

Tonks was excited to see the match, it had been awhile since she'd been to one and she was going as herself. Technically it was her day off, but when Remus had asked if she would be interested in going to see the game, she'd said yes without hesitation. Since Halloween, they'd been talking more, not every evening like before, but a few times a week. He was exactly what he seemed – polite, kind, mild mannered, friendly and professorly and yet he was also everything unexpected and thrilling. He was exciting, told the _greatest_ stories she'd ever heard and even occasionally showed just a hint of a wicked humour. There were moments, which sometimes lasted days, when Remus would revert in on himself and disappear, but this time, armed with the personal knowledge he'd trusted her with, she knew not to take it personally. He'd been through so much. She knew a little of what it was like back then but only from when her mum and dad had told her, or what she'd read but she would never be able to truly empathise with Remus.

Still, she hoped today would be a happy day for Remus. He seemed to really like Harry, who was exceeding in defence against the dark arts. She'd packed a thermos full of hot chocolate, charmed to provide as much as needed and she'd bought a bar of Honeydukes finest chocolate, something Remus seemed to always have some of on his person. As the rain and wind continued to get worse outside she was glad she'd chosen her water repelling cloak and shoes. It was undoubtedly going to be freezing and wet and she couldn't wait!

Tonks continued her relaxed pace until she neared the doors, she could already hear the chanting and chatter of students who were eagerly awaiting the start of the game. Her pace quickened, spurred on by her excitement for both the game and spending some time with Remus, during the day, off duty. As she excited the castle, surrounded by a smattering of student scurrying to cover their heads before stepping out into the rain, Tonks felt the full force of the cold wind and rain hit her square in the face. This was going to be one long, epic game of Quidditch. Surely even Galvin Gudgeon wouldn't be able to catch the snitch in this weather, so what chance did either of these schoolboys have. If she was lucky, the game might even go on well into the evening. Tonks chuckled to herself, perhaps spending so much time at Hogwarts was bringing out her inner teenager, she certainly felt more excited than she had in years. It was pathetic, but she didn't care. This was going to be so much fun.

Her heart beat quickened as she saw Remus, his normally composed exterior completely dishevelled by the howling wind. Even better, when he saw her, he gave her a beaming smile and waved. As she approached the entrance at the back of the bleachers, where they could climb to their seats, he offered her an arm to link. They climbed to their seats which were at the back, where no students could see them unless they were facing away from the match. Although as an Auror, Tonks was used to missions in miserable weather, she was thankful that in their seats, they seemed to be protected by the columns that surrounded them.

"I fear for those students on each team, this game may go on well into the evening." Remus looked up at the far too dark sky for the time and shook his head.

"I don't know how they can even see the goal posts, all I can see is a blur of red and yellow."

Remus smiled at Tonks as she leant forward eagerly trying to see more of the action. "I remember a game like this when I was at school." Remus sighed happily.

Tonks turned and could see that youthful look that Remus always used to get when he told stories of his school days, she sat back in her chair, excited to hear another tale of his school friends. She was already certain she'd have liked them a lot. Tonks pulled out the thermos of hot chocolate and poured Remus and herself a generous cupful. The steam warmed her face as she stared at Remus, waiting for him to continue.

"James was showing off, as he always did when he got onto a broom. He was talented for sure and when he put his mind to it, he was unbeatable but his ego sometimes got the best of him." The grin on Remus' face was priceless. In fact, Tonks blushed at the thought, it was beautiful. Gosh he was handsome.

"Oh, what did he do?" Tonks, everything around her forgotten, turned away from the game completely and curled her legs up underneath her, looking directly at Remus now. Remus mirrored her posture and the pair leant into towards each other, almost conspiratorially. In the back of Tonk's mind, her teenage self was trying to remind her of an article she'd read in Wickedly Witch magazine years ago, that said a sure way to know if someone liked you was if they copied how you sat. As Remus continued his story, she decided she could analyse that thought more later, right now she wanted to know what James had gotten up to this time.

"Well, to cut a long story short, he flew right into the goal post," Tonks could see Remus was trying not to laugh, "the wind was so strong, during the pre-match discussion at breakfast the other players were all worried about steering their brooms, but not James, he assured them all it would be a piece of cake. That he'd get up fast and high, spot the snitch and game would be over in a matter of minutes."

Tonks brow furrowed, James was a seeker, Remus had never mentioned that before – why was that tickling a part of her brain. It was that feeling – as though you needed to sneeze, but nothing was coming…

"Of course it didn't help that Lily had decided to join us for breakfast that morning. His showing off by this point was almost always for Lily. He got on his broom as promised and he went fast and high, only as any quidditch player knows, in this wind, fast and high are the two worst things you could do, almost immediately he was blown off course and unable to see much, the rain was so bad, he was blown straight into his own goalpost."

Remus gave a hearty chuckle. "Of course, the blighter was so lucky, the snitch happened to be hovering around the same goal post and he managed to catch it as he was bloody falling! Can you imagine, we certainly couldn't. Tonks, is everything okay?"

Tonks had stopped listening. That small itch in her brain now demanding to be scratched. James, seeker. Lily… Harry. Tonks leaped from her seat.

"Harry!"

The commotion happened in an instant. Tonk's whole body became so cold she felt as though she'd been plunged into an ice bath. The sensation was something she'd experienced when she'd been to Azkaban to interrogate witnesses with Mad Eye Moody, her mentor and it was that sensation of sudden coldness and crushing sadness that had made Tonks reach for her wand and spring into action. She was on the field before she really knew what was happening, the decision to morph into Dumbledore had been predetermined by a conversation she'd had with him about coming to the match, he'd told her he couldn't be there but that if she should need to intervene where Harry was concerned, she was welcome to use him as her disguise. She laughed at the time, the thought of her morphing into Albus Dumbledore just seemed utterly ridiculous and yet here she was.

Sprinting across the Quidditch pitch, wand raised above her head, she waved it at Harry as he fell, slowing his descent, she'd tried to halt it altogether but she was too far away and the wind and rain weren't helping with her normal impeccable accuracy. She then turned her wand on the dementors above them, shooting her Patronus at them full force. There were a lot of them and she wasn't sure how long she'd be able to keep them at bay, thankfully they left the stadium straight away.

She was furious. Why on earth had the ministry allowed dementors within a hundred miles of Hogwarts, of these kids. Kids that didn't need to know what dementors were, more than the stories they'd hear at school. Dementors, as far as Tonks were concerned were the foulest, lowest forms of creatures ever. They weren't weak and seeking power or fame or immortality, they simply wanted to cause despair and destruction and as much of it as possible.

Tonks fought to repress her rage, certain the Dementors, the immediate threat had been neutralised for now, she turned her focus back to Harry. She waved her wand once again and a stretcher appeared and she floated Harry next to her up to the Castle. He didn't look good. How could she let this happen, she should have been able to stop his descent completely or transfigure some grass into a cushion or something but the truth of the matter was the whole thing had just happened too fast. Less than 2 minutes ago she'd been sat with Remus in the stands and now she was almost approaching the doors to the castle. A whole stream of conflicting thoughts were pouring through her head, far too many to process. She knew about Remus now, she'd figured it out, his dirty little secret. Still that wasn't a matter for now, she'd have to deal with him later.

Tonks spoke to Poppy in the hospital wing only once she'd reverted to her own form, she'd learnt from Halloween not to stay in a morph whilst giving directions. "I managed to slow down his fall but he still hit the ground pretty hard, though thanks to all this rain it should have been a relatively soft landing." Speaking more to herself than Poppy, Tonks added, "Though I should have been able to stop his fall completely."

Poppy ushered Tonks to one side whilst she held her wand tight, levitating Harry off the stretcher and into a bed. "Don't be ridiculous." Ever the school nurse, her tone was matter of fact, not to be argued with, "How you even managed to get a clear hit in this weather, enough to slow his fall is a miracle." Tonks stepped back as Poppy rushed around Harry's still body flying her wand over every inch of him. After what seemed like forever, Poppy finally stopped the wand waving and turned to a pale Tonks and gave her hand a squeeze, "He's fine dear – nothing that a little rest and some medicine won't cure."

Tonks sighed in relief. Harry was ok.

Feeling suddenly exhausted and realising she still had a lot of work to do, Tonks arranged for Poppy to let Harry's friends and Quidditch team who had followed them up to the hospital wing, in to see their friend, whilst Tonk slipped onto a secret stairwell behind a painting of Lancelot the Healer, which led straight to the staff quarters.

Once back in her room she set about making sure Hogwarts was once again safe. She asked aurors to stay on the pitch until all students were back in the castle – she was sure the safety of the students was being co-ordinated by staff already. She sent a Patronus to both Dumbledore and Kingsley to let them know what had happened and asked that someone from the Ministry be sent to speak to the Dementors about not coming onto school grounds. She then, with the rest of her team did an inspection of the grounds – could it be that Black was at the quidditch match and that's why the dementors had wandered onto the pitch, was Harry just in the wrong place at the wrong time… again! After the incident on the train, she wasn't sure. Having worked with Mad Eye Moody, Tonks had been forced not to believe in coincidences. Still, the search of the grounds found nothing, Dumbledore was back and had been to speak to the Dementors and Kingsley was coming to see her in the morning.

She arrived back in her quarters at 1.45am and spent another 55 minutes writing, checking and double checking her report, knowing that with something so serious as Dementors attacking a student, without cause, on school grounds, Kingsley would want the written and proof-read document as soon as possible.

By the time she'd finished, she was barely able to keep her eyes open. Springing into action had been the last thing on her mind when she'd made her way down to the match just mere hours ago. She'd pictured an exciting day, watching a sport she loved with a man whose company she greatly enjoyed. She'd even hoped that this – spending time together, during the day, when she wasn't working, would be something they'd be able to do more often, until.

Her brain reminded her.

Until she'd realised that Remus had been lying to her.

Until she'd realised that he was probably just trying to get close to her to get information on the case.

Until she realised she'd been played for a fool.

Until she'd realised she was a fool.

James – quidditch – seeker – Lily… Harry.

She'd started to fall for Sirius Black's best friend. Good one Tonks!

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 **uh oh, looks like Remus is in trouble! He might need a Protection Detail in the next chapter... I wouldn't want to get on the wrong side of Tonks!**

 **I hope you enjoyed this chapter. If you have any feedback, I'd really appreciate it!**


	14. I was the friend he most betrayed

**Hello! Thank you to all of you who are reading, reviewing or following this fic! I am so grateful! I know posting is sporadic and I won't lie, it will continue to be so but I promise I WILL complete this fic. To thank you for still reading - chapter 14 is a mega chapter (over 3,000 words!)**

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Pacing was not helping. A decision needed to be made and she was the only one who could make it.

Ink blotted papers were scattered across her desk. She had begun the report she knew that Kingsley and Dumbledore would be expecting to see first thing in the morning…well in a few hours. Each time she had reached the section where she knew she was expected to write any other pertinent information – she stalled. Why was she protecting him? She owed him nothing.

Yet, she had reasoned with herself several times – surely, the information she had stumbled upon was nothing new to Kingsley and certainly not to Dumbledore. It would be obvious information to them – as it should have been to any decent Auror. What had kept her up all evening was not the act of writing it, she had written the little paragraph several times…

 _ **Other pertinent information:**_

 _Lead Auror, Tonks, N. for protective detail of Potter, H. has had considerable contact with Lupin, R. Known associate of the convict, Black, S. Lupin has made attempts to befriend Auror Tonks. Whether this is to extract information about the case is so far unclear. So far Lupin, R, is not under suspicion but is, going forward a person of interest. Further investigation into Lupin, R. and Black, S. relationship to be submitted following this report._

Her report was finished – she could send it right now, and feel content that she had done all she could and it would be the dementors that would be getting a telling off. She was confident she had acted swiftly, Harry was going to be fine and Dumbledore would take care of the rest. What bothered her were two parts of what she had written – two parts she wished were not true. Had Lupin befriended her to get information about the case? He had probably been laughing at her all these months, a young naïve Auror. Easy to charm into talking to him and confiding in him.

She wanted to be furious and she was, but she was also feeling dejected and sad. Once she handed in this report, Lupin, R. would become a person of interest in the hunt for Sirius Black. She knew that Fudge was desperate to find him - was she putting Remus' career in jeopardy just by naming him?

Pacing was not helping her make any decisions. Grabbing her dressing gown from the back of her door, Tonks headed out into the hallway.

She stood outside Lupin's door. If she did this and he was involved – she could be in serious trouble, but if she handed in her report, she may never get the chance to find out, he'd officially be a person of interest in the Black case and as she wasn't allowed to be involved in the Black case, she wouldn't be able to question him. More than anything right now she wanted answers. If she was being honest, she wanted to know if she had been played for a fool yet again.

Knocking on the door louder than she should for the time of the morning, she knew she had to speak to him face to face.

"Lupin, open up. We need to talk."

Remus open the door on her second knock. Tonks was taken aback for a second, the usual well put together; professor Lupin was looking decidedly less 'put together'. He was dishevelled, his attire was much less formal, striped pyjamas and an old tatty but warm looking dressing gown went with his messy hair and confused stare.

"May I come in." Tonks said as she pushed Lupin gently to the side. By the time he was awake enough to reply Tonks was already pacing around his front room.

"Please, make yourself comfortable." Remus watched as Tonks walked around his sofa a few times, chewing on her thumbnail, mumbling to herself. He suspected she had not slept much, if at all, since the events earlier that evening.

"Tonks," he spoke tenderly. "Poppy assured you, there was nothing more you could have done for Harry. Your quick thinking and reflexes were impeccable and Harry most probably owes you his life. You showed yourself to be every inch an incredible Auror this evening, you should be very proud."

"Just not incredible enough to figure you out…" Tonks mumbled through her thumb.

"I'm sorry Tonks, I didn't quite hear you…?" Remus took a step closer to Tonks, placing his hand on her shoulder. Tonks reacted as though his touch burned.

"Don't touch me." Tonks stood up straight, staring at Lupin. She could see hurt in his eyes and face, but she couldn't allow him to disarm and charm her into forgetting why she had knocked his door.

"Tonks, whatever is the matter? You are not yourself this evening. Shall I get you a cup of tea?" Remus took a step towards his kettle, but Tonks put her arm out, signalling for him not to move.

"I don't want tea. I want the truth." Tonks hated that when she was angry she would get teary. The whole world had teased her about this for as long as she could remember. "I want the truth Lupin."

"I am more than happy to oblige, if indeed I possess the truth to which you are referring." Remus dared a small smirk, hoping to defuse some of the tension.

"No, don't do that Lupin, don't simper and smirk and be all coy. You know exactly what I'm talking about. How could you not tell me. How could you think it was okay to keep it from me? When we've been spending so much time together?! Did it never occur to you how this could affect my career? Hell never mind my career, how this would affect everything!" Tonks was so furious, most of that had come out much louder than she intended it to. She blinked away the tears which were threatening to roll down her cheeks at any moment.

Lupin stepped back to hold onto a dresser. He was dumbfounded. How had she found out? Surely Dumbledore would never have betrayed his confidence and Snape and Tonks hadn't spoken since he'd last seen her just a few hours ago. "I'm sorry you are so disgusted by the revelation."

More than anything Lupin felt disappointed. He'd had long day dreams about how, if he were ever to tell Tonks, he would tell her. He had always hoped and sometimes even prayed to a God that he was not sure he believed, in that she would take it well. His daydreams never played out a scene in which she spouted bigotry or hate – he had not thought that was in Tonks' nature.

Tonks scoffed "Disgusted by the revelation – oh drop the pretence Lupin. How could you keep this from me? Did it never occur to you that I had the right to know _who_ I was spending so much time with?"

There it was – he had never thought her capable of it. It was not the first time he had to be part of this conversation, he had heard it several times, his usual response was to apologise and leave as quickly as possible hoping never to see the person again.

But this was Tonks! He thought he had gotten to know her so well. He was dumbfounded that this would be her reaction. He thought she would have at least have understood the need for secrecy, working for the ministry, she must have been aware of the werewolf registry and how cruel they could be.

He could not let it drop this time. "And who do you imagine you have been spending your evenings with Nymphadora." He knew the use of her first name was below him, but he was feeling a fury he had not experienced in many years. "A monster not to be allowed to participate in decent company. Certainly not an appropriate friend for a young woman. Perhaps I should have told you, but I thought you of all people would have understood the want to keep something about yourself, something that you cannot change, something that has forced society to shun you away for years. An affliction that causes people to instantly mistrust you – to not give themselves a chance to even attempt to get to know you. Perhaps I am at fault – but I am not the only one of us that kept private information just that."

There was a silence between them. They could both feel it, hear it, see it. It hung thick in the air, whatever was said next could make or break their burdening friendship. The only sound was Remus' angry breathing and Tonks occasional biting of her thumbnail.

"Why me of all people?!" Tonks had been replaying in her head his speech – no doubt something he had been planning for weeks to throw her off if she ever caught him out. How dare he be furious with her! Her confusion was beginning to clear and she was now more pissed off than ever. "Do not try and make this about me Lupin. You had hundreds of opportunities in this room, when we were sharing stories to drop it in to the conversation. The fact that you kept it from me that is what worries me. Auror training 101 – people who keep things have things to hide."

Remus laughed incredulously, "are you really going to stand here, in my own quarters, in to which you were not invited, may I add, and lecture me on not being forthcoming. Pot, kettle, black Tonks."

"Pot kettle what?" Tonks asked quieter than before.

"It's a muggle idiom; it refers to the hypocrisy…"

Tonks scoffed, "I don't need a lecturer Professor."

Remus threw his hands up and grabbed thin air. "You asked! You are so bloody infuriating! Look I did not tell you, but you did not tell me you were a metamorphmegus either, so I am not sure why you are allowing yourself to feel so superior and be so angry with me! It seems neither of us felt ready to confide so completely in each other."

Tonks sat down on Remus' sofa. Seeing her dejected face, his anger immediately began to ebb away. He approached the sofa, unsure as to how she would react if he sat next to her, instead he choose to lean on arm. "Being a metamorphmagus is hardly the same as being best friends with a wanted fugitive Remus, but you are right, I should have told you. You had a right to know."

Remus' head dropped into his hands. He felt an overwhelming urge to weep. What a complete and utter fool he was. He often met people who told him how very clever he was and when he would assure them he was not, they would shower him with platitudes and never except his rebuffs. Oh how he wished he could show them moments such as this one. So learned and professorly and yet he had never quite learned how to listen and extract information before jumping to ridiculous conclusions.

Tonks had no idea he was a werewolf. Tonks was annoyed that he had once been best friends with Sirius Black. He could understand that. It was something he felt furious about.

Remus allowed himself to slide down from the arm of the sofa where he had perched onto the cushion next to Tonks. He sighed deeply. "To be truthful, it isn't something I am proud of. I have learnt to tell stories of my past without mentioning names. It perhaps will not surprise you to learn that people are not very eager to spend time with someone who used to associate with a now convicted criminal. Although what people always seem to forget when they make snap judgements about how I could have been friends with such a monster is that, out of everyone, I perhaps lost the most at the hands of Sirius Black. I was the friend he most betrayed. I was the friend he allowed to survive, only to watch all of my friends die."

Tonks could not move. She was so desperately trying not to cry. She knew it has been a bad idea coming to speak to him, but she could not help herself. She also now could not trust herself. Was this another line, meant to make her feel sorry for Remus, to want to comfort him rather than suspect him…because it was working. Everything in her told her this was a man who meant no malice to anyone. All of her instincts, including the ones that helped her on her way to being the youngest fully qualified Auror in Ministry History, were telling her he was being completely genuine. As one of Sirius Black's closest friends, he had been one of his biggest victims.

"Remus, I am so sorry. I…"

Remus batted her unspoken words away with his hand. "I think we may both had said somethings tonight we did not mean. Words spoken in anger should never come between friends. And you are right, I should have been more forthcoming with you, I should have told you that Sirius and I were friends."

Tonks sighed loudly, "I understand why you didn't though. I get it – that look people give you when you tell them you're different, whether it is being a metamorphmagus or being best friends with a convict, people don't give you the chance to prove your worth. You should try being related to a convict! I don't even really remember ever meeting him! I just wish you could have told me though."

Remus nodded thoughtfully, "I can see that not telling you was an oversight. To be truthful, these last few months, with you, they have been the first time in years that I've been able to speak about Sirius, or James or Peter and Lily without feeling such hatred for Sirius. It has been nice to share so many stories with you, to be able to remember the fun we all had. Though still, even all these years later, the stories are tinged with sadness and an anger.

Tonks turned to look at Remus more fully, "An anger toward Sirius you mean?"

It was Remus' turn to sigh, he stared out into the fire – "sometimes, but more often at myself. When it happened." Remus swallowed as if the thought of saying the next sentence was physically difficult, "When Lily and James were killed and then Peter, and Sirius was taken to Azkaban, I spent months, possibly even years reliving every moment of our youth, looking for the moment, the hour the minute."

Tonks placed her hand on Remus' knew. "What moment Remus?"

Remus locked eyes with Tonks. He had never spoken to anyone about this, but she deserved to see that she had his trust. "The moment that Sirius decided to betray his friends. The moment he became a murderer. The moment he became a Black. I should have seen it; I should have spotted some minute detail that would have exposed him. I should have been able to save my friends."

Remus allowed his head to fall into his hands. "You cannot think like that Remus. How could you spot it. You are all that is sweet and kind and gentle. How could you recognise evil? I've seen it time and time again when I was in training, those who are the best criminal masterminds are surrounded by loving caring friends and family who just cannot believe their husband, brother, sister, wife – whoever is what we are accusing them of being. They know just what to say to make the people around them fall for them. You are not to blame for any of the actions of Sirius Black. Do you understand me?"

Remus could not look at Tonks. He had heard those exact words spoken to him years before, when Dumbledore had found him broken and alone, living a nomadic existence, spending time with no one but memories and the ghosts of his past, he had spent years after Sirius' incarceration existing but never really living.

"I am working on believe that to be true." Remus answered honestly.

The pair sat in silence, the only sound the embers of the fire Remus had lit hours ago. Tonks spoke first. "I never called you a monster. You could never be a monster to me Remus."

Remus shivered all over his body. He wanted to tell her. He really wanted to and he knew he should. But he couldn't. As an Auror he felt certain that once he told her, she would have to pass that information on. A werewolf who used to be friends with Sirius Black wandering the corridors of Hogwarts that would be sure to send Fudge into meltdown. Dumbledore had taken a risk employing him, only those who needed to know had been informed and as a private school, with no public funding, Dumbledore had assured Remus that did not include any ministry employees. Kingsley had been discrete on his few visits to see Tonks, never mentioning Remus' affliction.

"I'm not the man you think I am Tonks…I…I…" Remus had never wanted to tell anyone more. Never wanted acceptance from anyone as much as he craved it from Tonks.

"Remus, please it's okay. I am sorry about how I reacted; I was just so stressed with Harry and annoyed at myself that I didn't realise sooner. You told all these stories, you talked all the time about James and Sirius, but what did you call them, Padfoot and Prongs, I just should have put it all together a lot quicker. Sometimes I fancy myself a super Auror, I guess not realising sooner made me realise I am no such thing. I've never been very good at admitting my own failings. Much easier to blame them on someone else."

Tonks threw Remus a smile, which an hour earlier he had been sure he would never see again. It relaxed him immediately. He grabbed his wand and magically stoked the fire, setting it roaring once again. "How did you realise by the way?"

Tonks thought for a moment, so much seemed to have happened in such a few hours. "It was a combination of you mentioning James was a seeker – you almost always refer to him as Prongs, is it? Prongs, so that is how I think of him. But tonight you kept saying James and then you mentioned Lily and bits of information I had read in Harry's file before starting this case came to me and I realised who you were. There are people mentioned in Harry's file, Lily and James Potter and their closest friends whose names are redacted. I guess because either Dumbledore or Kingsley did not think they were pertinent."

Remus was smiling. "You really are a super Auror you know."

Tonks looked pensive again, ignoring Remus' last comment she instead asked, "Are you really annoyed I didn't tell you I was a metamorphmagus?"

Remus felt awful, "No I am not annoyed. I am sorry I lashed out. You accused me and I threw whatever I could think of back at you. It was beneath me and I sincerely apologise."

It was Remus this time who put his hand on Tonks' knee and gave it a squeeze. "To tell the truth Tonks, I could not wait to see you to tell you just how impressive your transformation was. I have seen but two other metamorphmagi in my time and neither of them I believe would be able to transform mid run whilst under considerable duress. They both seemed to need to hone in and really concentrate. You really do have a remarkable talent."

Tonks smiled, "No one has ever called me remarkable before."

Remus returned the smile, "Well they clearly haven't gotten to know you as well as I have."

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 **Thanks so much for reading. I'd absolutely love to know what you think so far. Please leave me a review :) How did you like angry Remus?**


	15. The Witching Hour

**A/N - Hello you lovely people. I am back. Finally I have a break from work and so as promised I am continuing this fic. PoA is my favourite book and I have always wanted to create a fic that plays in that specific time. I'm going to post a few chapters tonight as I know a lot of you are following this story (thank you from the bottom of my heart), I won't make you wait... you've done enough of that, I will just post them as they are ready! I'd love to hear what you think of each chapter so please don't forget to leave me a review. :)**

 **Edited A/N - the poem The Witching Hour is a poem I wrote for this fic. Hope you like it!**

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 **Chapter 15 - The Witching Hour**

The winding corridors or Hogwarts Castle had once again become like home to Tonks. Since the dementor attack, she had been trying to keep an ever-closer eye on Harry without impinging on his freedom. He was a teenage boy after all! Some of her greatest adventures at Hogwarts had been ones she definitely would not have wanted anyone to witness. Still she had to keep him safe. That was the priority. Tonks had taken to wandering the corridors whenever Harry was in lessons, checking the secret passageways and occasionally scaring kids who were cutting class by morphing into Filch.

As she wandered past the defence against the dark arts classroom for the third time in the fifteen minutes, she tried to convince her conscience that is was only because Harry was in there, however her conscience unhelpfully reminder her that she'd been drawn to Professor Lupin's classroom a lot lately, since the nightmare of a quidditch game. Luckily for Tonks, so had Harry. Harry seemed to really like Lupin, now she knew his history with Harry's parents, she could understand why. Whether Harry knew it or not, Lupin cared for Harry in a way no one truly ever had. Like a father would. She decided to give in and sit opposite the classroom behind one of the many Hogwarts gargoyles. She could hear Lupin's voice as it travelled through the open classroom door…

" **The Witching Hour**

Still as a crisp autumn morn, before the birds stir or the sun wakes,

Silence hangs in the air and a mist hovers over the lakes.

Hidden away since long ago, thy whole self now fake.

Too weary to hold up the veil, to wait for schemes,

Whilst muggles conjure unfathomable dreams,

We evermore muffle our screams as we hide on the seams.

Flashes of red, orange, yellow and sparks of heat,

Remind us rising thus will save us from a terrible feat.

Swish and swash the wood traces shapes in the air,

Incantations are sung, the melody shaped with care,

Precious are these moments outside our lair

Until the first bird tweeps and twerps with a morning tune,

The Witching hour is once again over too soon."

A silence filled the classroom; Tonks could not hear anything. Until Remus spoke again, "Who can tell me who wrote this poem? Yes Hermione."

Tonks recognised the student's voice, one of McGonagall's favourites; she was constantly praising Hermione's theoretical knowledge and practical skills, whenever Hermione could not hear her of course.

"No one knows the name of the woman who wrote it. The poem was found in the home of a young mysterious woman who disappeared in the 1800s."

Tonks heard Remus clap loudly. "Well done Miss Granger! If you can tell me what she is referring to in the poem I will be doubly impressed…"

Without hesitation, Hermione continued, "She is writing about the witch trials which began in Salem, Massachusetts and in small pockets began to happen here in England too. The majority of witches and wizards stopped using magic in public and many were so scared they would wake early to use magic whilst muggles were still sleeping."

Tonks could not help but smile as she heard how enthusiastic Remus sounded, "Exactly Miss Granger hence, The Witching Hour. 10 points to Gryffindor. The flashes of red and orange the unknown author refers to were the fires used to burn those suspected of witchcraft. Now, I can hear those brains you all try to hide away clinking and churning and wondering why, during a Defence Against the Dark Arts class, we would be reading a poem. Well, I thought it time we had a break from our usual practical lessons and had a more lateral one. You see I believe there are many ways we can defend ourselves against the dark forces of this world and creativity, in my humble opinion as your professor, is just as important as being able to stun or repel your enemy. For that reason, you will all write me a poem about magic or…"

Remus had to raise his voice to speak over the disappointed murmurs, "Or, if you are so incredibly apposed to putting pen to paper in what you consider such an old fashioned and uncool way, write me a review of The Witching Hour poem. I trust you will all put in as much effort into this assignment as you would into learning any incantation or spell. Creativity is one of humankinds, whether muggle or magical, greatest gifts. I look forward to reading your poems next week! Now go, go complain to each other about how terribly cruel I am!"

Tonks could hear the scraping of chairs that signalled the end of the lesson. The students filed out and Tonks saw Harry leave with Ron and Hermione who said she'd meet them in the common room after she'd been to the library. The boys begged her to hurry; Tonks suspected they both hoped Hermione might write their poems for them. Knowing Harry was heading to the common room for the night, she waited until the last student had left Lupin's classroom then knocked on the door as she peered round it.

"Wotcher Professor! Poems and creativity – I rather think I'd have enjoyed your classes."

Remus treated Tonks to the largest grin she had ever seen from him. He really did seem in great spirits. "Tonks! I'm so glad you're here. I was about to look for you to see if I could tempt you to share a pot of tea with me."

Tonks returned his smile, "That sounds lovely."

Remus grabbed his bag and jacket from his desk and motioned for her to leave the room first, "After you. Isn't The Witching Hour a beautiful poem?"

Tonks was pensive for a second, "It is. Sad though."

Remus sighed, "Yes, very sad. To think of those poor souls burned for being nothing but who they were born to be. You know they believe the woman who wrote the poem may have been descended from a witch burned a few decades before it was written."

Tonks smiled, occasionally Remus would speak about a subject he was so passionate about, he would light up as if from the inside out. He would become more animated than usual, more exuberant; it was a joy to see. "Did you know that Bathilda Bagshot believes she may have found the family to which the girl belonged? The Lovegood family had three sisters who were known to live in the area around that time, though they have not been able to pin down which sister. Bathilda also believes the poor girl who wrote it could not live in secret and so she killed herself, the poem was found when they found her body. I have visited the site where she believes the sisters lived. It is this tiny cottage that seems to have been untouched by the years. It is beautiful, serene and sad all at the same time."

Remus was staring at Tonks. Silently, just staring and smiling.

"What? Do I have something on my face?" Tonks used her sleeve to wipe her mouth, before looking back at Remus.

"No, your face is perfect."

The air around Tonks and Remus seemed to thin, Tonks breath hitched.

"I seem to forget sometimes, for a second, just how extraordinary you really are."

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 **More, longer chapters to come very soon...**


	16. Not bad for a boss

**A/N: As promised, a few chapters going up tonight. Hope you enjoy! All of your feedback, whether reviews, follows or adding this fic to your favourites are all so appreciated! :)**

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 **Chapter 16 – Not bad for a boss.**

Remus and Tonks walked together in silence towards their living quarters. Had he really just told her she was perfect and extraordinary?

Tonks found that when she had to morph mid run, whilst chasing bad guys, she could do it almost without thinking, but right now as she walked alongside Remus, it was taking all of her focus just to morph the blush from her cheeks.

The next few days flew by in a blur for Tonks. Harry seemed to have left a huge amount of the semesters work to the last few weeks of school and so he, uncharacteristically spent most of his time either in the common room or library. She had a portrait outside Gryffindor common room, the inhabitants of which were more than happy to hop into the portrait in her quarters and let her know if Harry was leaving the common room. He really did seem to be working hard... or panicking that he had left everything to the last minute – Tonks could remember that feeling well.

She had been spending a lot of time in her own company during the day and much of her free evenings in the company of Remus. The fight, the awful things said and accusations levelled after that quidditch match, which she had worried could have ended their friendship seemed to instead have bought them closer together. Never the sort to simper and flutter her eyelashes, Tonks had another reason to dislike her cousin, Sirius Black – until he was caught; Tonks was stationed at Hogwarts on official ministry business. She could not ask Remus to go on a proper date with her, though it felt like they had already had so many cosy nights in together. They were somewhere awkward, in between friends and more than friends.

Remus was different. He was not like anyone she had ever dated before. Sure, he was older, but more than that, he was kinder, wiser and more exciting than anyone she had ever met.

And over the past few weeks they had got closer and closer and closer until…

He had cut her off.

The chats, the tea, the getting together each evening after dinner, it had all come to an abrupt stop. Without warning, Remus had gone from sweet and attentive to, she was certain, actively avoiding her.

At first she was worried, then she was angry. Why did men do this? Was it a fun game for them to get to know someone, seem interested and then disappear?

The last few days though, the anger had ebbed away and given way once more to concern. Remus wasn't in the great hall at meal times and his classes had been taken over by Snape!

She was sure that Remus would never allow Snape to cover for him unless it was imperative. She was relieved when she received a patronus from Dumbledore asking her to join him for tea. Not only had the absence of Remus left her with a lot of free time, she was hopeful all of her Auror training would help her to slip in a nonchalant question about Remus.

The walk to the Headmasters office from the living quarters was not an unfamiliar one for Tonks, she felt certain she could walk most of the castles hallways blindfolded. Approaching the gargoyle, she had dreaded the sight of as a student, Tonks said clearly, "Fizzing Whizzbees".

The Gargoyle snorted disapprovingly, "Didn't you visit enough when you were a student." Before moving to the side and allowing Tonks to step onto the Griffin statue adorned stairs, which would take her to the headmaster's office.

"Tonks! Come in, do have a lemon drop, one my favourites you know. Kingsley was just telling me a most fascinating story from his most recent trip to Egypt."

Tonks did not realise she had stopped moving and stopped breathing. Kingsley was here. Why was Kingsley here? He normally told her if he was visiting the castle. Dumbledore continued to talk but she could not hear him over the pounding in her ears.

"Tonks, I'm sorry for just showing up. I needed to speak with Dumbledore, as well as you and Remus."

Tonks sat in the chair next to Kingsley worried her legs might give out. She was certain this was about her report.

"No problem Kingsley, always happy to see you." Tonks attempted a smile.

"I'm not sure you'll think so. I was just informing the headmaster that on orders of the Minster for Magic, Remus Lupin is now a person of interest in the Black case. I'll need to question him, here for now, although I imagine Fudge will not be happy until he is questioned formally back at ministry headquarters."

Dumbledore coughed. "And as I was just explaining to Kingsley, I am sure Remus will be glad to help in any way he can, though I fear he won't be much use to you. I was also just about to inform you Kingsley that Remus is currently in no fit state to be interviewed by anyone, he is sick. Has been for a few days now. He is on bedrest,"

As Kingsley flinched and looked as though he wanted to interrupt, Dumbledore raised his hand, "Headmasters orders I'm afraid Kingsley. I have no doubt once Remus has had the holidays to recover, he'll be perfectly happy to answer any questions you and Fudge require of him, but for now I must ask that you let the man alone."

Tonks had always admired Dumbledore. It was masterful how he spoke so eloquently, politely and compassionately whilst still leaving no doubt, even in the mind of the head of the auror department that there was no room to argue.

Tonks tried not to allow her relief to show. Thoughts were tumbling around her head. She had known even naming Remus that there was a possibility this could happen, but she had thought, she had hoped that Kingsley trusted her judgement.

His presence showed he clearly did not.

After a brief conversation with Dumbledore about arrangements for the holidays, and agreeing she would be needed at Hogwarts for most of them, as Harry was planning on staying over Christmas, Tonks asked if she could be excused, not wanting to face her boss alone.

"Tonks!" Tonks wondered for one childish moment if she could pretend not to have heard Kingsley chasing down the corridor after her.

"Oy, don't try and skulk away, you know you'll have to speak to me eventually." Tonks stopped and allowed Kingsley to match her stride.

"It wasn't me."

Tonks stopped. "What wasn't you?"

Kingsley rolled his eyes. "I know you better than you would like to believe Tonks. I know you're pissed at me. But it wasn't me who decided to make Remus a person of interest."

Tonks crossed her arms and continued to walk, "I don't remember sending my report to anyone but you Kingsley. I understand, you were just doing your job."

Kingsley gently tugged an arm, "The angry red hair would suggest you don't. But honestly, it was not me. Not only do I trust your judgement Tonks, I happen to know Remus; he is a good man with a tragic past. He doesn't deserve to be dragged back into all of this."

Tonks stopped walking, "Well who then?"

Kingsley looked uncertain, rubbing his hand on the back of his neck. "Wainwright."

Tonks was confused. "Why would he do that?"

Though his hair didn't turn flame red, it was now Kingsley's turn to be pissed off, "He read your report before he submitted his own, adding an amendment that he felt you were too close to Remus to judge the situation properly."

Kingsley placed a hand on Tonks shoulder as she tried to interrupt him, "I know, he had no right. I called him in to speak to him, give him a chance to explain his report and give me empirical evidence you were too close. When he started spouting lines like, 'I don't like the way he looks at her', I knew it was Wainwright that was too close. Why didn't you tell me when I assigned him here with you?"

Tonks, having reached her quarters, took out her wand and unlocked her door, "There wasn't much to tell; I thought he was interested in me when we were training together, but he didn't tell me he had a partner. We spoke about things when we first arrived here and I thought he had taken it all quite well. He was jealous about Remus but I nipped that in the bud too…at least I thought I had."

Kingsley took the tea Tonks offered him and slinked into the nearest chair. "Well, unfortunately I'm afraid he hasn't gotten over you quite as well as you have gotten over him Tonks. When he sent his report to me, he also copied in Fudge. I was ready to dismiss the whole thing when I got a memo from Fudge with direct orders. Dumbledore will be able to stall; after all, the ministry cannot interfere at Hogwarts without permission, not unless a crime has been committed. However, we will have to question Remus eventually."

Tonks could tell Kingsley was as frustrated and disappointed as she was. "I understand Kingsley. Thanks for letting me know. I guess I should find Wainwright and have another chat. I am so sorry my personal life has affected the case. I swear it won't happen again."

Kingsley smiled, "I wouldn't make promises you can't keep Tonks. We are aurors, highly trained specialists, but we are also witches and wizards with blood in our veins and hearts in our chests. We cannot control who we fall in love with more than anyone else can. As long as you are always 100% honest with me – I can always help you. Wainwright was in the wrong here, not you. He has been reassigned. I cannot have someone who undermines their superiors. If he was concerned about your relationship with Remus he should have spoken to you about it, he went about things in the wrong way. Anyway, I know Remus; he's an interesting guy, with interesting stories, who wouldn't want to be friends with him."

Tonks appreciated that she had a boss who was stern and expected the best from his team, but was also compassionate and kind – traits Dumbledore would be proud of. She felt slightly sorry for Wainwright, but she was relieved he had been assigned a different case. "Thanks Kingsley. I appreciate everything. Your confidence in me especially."

Kingsley drained the rest of his mug and stood to leave, "You've earned it Tonks. You really are an exceptional Auror with good instincts. Trust them as much as I trust you."

Tonks couldn't help but smile. "You're not bad you know…for a boss."

Kingsley treated Tonks to a hearty, deep laugh that seemed to echo around the castle walls, "I might just have that inscribed onto my office door, "Kingsley Shacklebolt, Head of the Auror Department, 'Not bad for a boss.'"

Tonks smiled, "I want credit mind! Make sure to reference me properly - Tonks, N. 1993."

Kingsley opened the door but before he could leave Tonks called out, "Oh and Kingsley, just for the record, I was never in love with Wainwright."

Kingsley nodded thoughtfully, "Oh I know. I wasn't talking about Wainwright."

Closing the door behind him, he left Tonks once again alone to her thoughts and most confused than ever.


	17. I don't want to let you go

**A/N: Slippy snowy walks with an injured Remus and a clumsy auror anyone? What could possibly go wrong? :) Reviews appreciated!**

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 **17\. I don't want to let you go**

Crunch crunch. Crunch.

Tonks took slow and tentative steps.

As far as the eye could see, the world in front of her glistened and glittered. Flurries of pure white whirled around her face as she ever so slowly continued her journey. Mundane objects now looked as though masterful artists had created them. The bench she passed, a gate, a hedge, all glittered in the moonlight.

Hogwarts in the snow – it was nature's own magic. Tonks loved it. She'd never seen anything as beautiful.

However, no amount of auror training or magic could save Tonks, who found walking on solid, non-slip floors, without falling, a challenge – from falling flat on her backside.

"Humph! Dragon Dung! Ewww wet wet wet."

Remus was trying really hard not to laugh, an angry Tonks, he was man enough to admit, was still something he was quite scared of! But she looked so adorable sitting with her legs splayed out in front of her, her arms throwing up snow in frustration whilst complaining.

"I can hear your attempts to muffle your laughter Lupin. Get your arse over here and help me up or I swear I'll stupefy you right into that field."

Remus reached Tonks' side and offered her an arm. It was slippy under foot, but although his shoes looked worn and were one of only two pairs he had owned for the past decade, they had a fantastic grip and so far, had never let him down. Although he felt that being around Nymphadora would put them to the ultimate test.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Tonks was still sat on the floor, knowing she was surrounded by ice and snow, she knew any attempts to get up unaided were likely to result in her back in a similar position to the one she currently found herself in. However, Remus was still recovering – from what he still, frustratingly hadn't told her – but it was clear that he wasn't quite back to full strength yet.

She had been unsure when he had knocked on her door after almost two weeks of not speaking to him or evening seeing him around the Castle. She had wanted to be distant and cold and not allow them to become as close as they had been before, but as the light from the corridor had flooded into her living quarters and she'd seen just how poorly he truly looked, all thoughts of distancing herself from Remus Lupin evaporated. She had ushered him in and onto her sofa and the pair had picked up as though the last two weeks had not existed. Except now, Remus grimaced every time he moved, coughed, or laughed.

Frustratingly every plea from Tonks to find out what had happened was nonchalantly batted away by Remus with a, "It's just a nasty bout of some virus or other, I'm perfectly well restored Nymphadora."

She knew the use of her first name was a distraction tactic, but she allowed him to believe she had fallen for it. He clearly did not want to talk to her about whatever was afflicting him. Probably just down to male pride.

Still she had suggested that they get out of the castle and head into Hogsmeade for a drink and some fresh air, sure it would do the Professor the world of good. Now as she sat on the cold, wet ground, her conviction to her prescribed course of action was thinning fast.

"Tonks, I never have, nor do I intend to allow myself in the future, to be so ill that I cannot help a maiden when in trouble."

Tonks frowned and then chuckled, "I can't decide if that comment was incredibly chauvinistic or chivalrous."

Remus opened his mouth to reply but instead felt the sharp sting of cold snow hitting his chin. Looking down, he saw Tonks grinning at him, looking even more toddler like.

"I decided it was both. I am on the floor and I do require help getting up – I can't deny it. Especially as the snow has worked its way through several levels of clothes now – however me being a maiden has no discernible relation to me being on the floor. I'm clumsy cause I'm me. I'm not clumsy cause I'm a woman."

Remus couldn't help but smile. She was most certainly a woman, and she was absolutely wonderful. He'd been allowed to wallow in his head for so many years, he'd had no one to challenge him, to encourage him to move with the times. He knew Tonks was completely aware he meant no harm by his statement, but she was equally completely right to call him out on it. He used to do the same with Sirius and James. Before…The thought of Sirius wiped the smile from Remus' face. A familiar darkness was descending, threatening to wipe out all the joy he was currently feeling, rip away his ability to just be in the moment and enjoy it. It was almost like tunnel vision as colour began to drain from the world around him, taking with it his happiness.

"Oy, I mean, I would still like help up though. I'm an independent woman but I'm not an idiot. I know when to admit I need help and I really need help. Pleeeeeease Remus."

The dimming of the world halted. All around him had gone dark except for where Tonks sat on the ground. Her smile seemed to radiate warmth, restoring light back to everything else he could see. He couldn't help but smile at her, the aching pain he felt about Sirius, James, his lovely Lily and Peter all shrivelling back into the box he kept them safely locked away in so he couldn't be hurt by memories of them. Remus stepped towards Tonks and reached down so she could grab his shoulder, he stuck his walking cane into the ground as hard as he could so he could use it to lean on.

After a minute of testing the ground beneath her feet before placing all her weight there, Tonks finally pulled herself up using Remus. Almost stood straight, the pair began to relax until Tonks supporting leg slipped on an unseen bit of ice, though it didn't topple her, she threw her other arm around Remus instinctively, wanting anything but to end up back on the floor.

For a moment neither spoke. Remus' left arm was tight around Tonks' waist, his other leaning onto his walking cane, Tonks' arms were both around Remus' neck.

"Hi." She spoke first. Soft and breathy. Not a tone he'd heard from Tonks before.

"Hey" was all he could think of to say. She was so close to him. He wanted to kiss her. To launch his cane as far from him as possible and with it, all reminders of his affliction and pull her into a kiss she wouldn't forget. Instead he leaned his forehead against hers, their noses touching.

"Are you okay?" He asked in the same breathy, soft tone Tonks had used.

"I am now. I'm a little scared to move in case I fall and take you down with me. I don't want to injury you anymore than I probably already have."

Remus tightened his grip around Tonks' waist. "I won't let you fall…We could just stay here."

Tonks eyes fluttered shut and she lowered her head into his neck. "That would be nice. To stay in your arms."

Remus could feel his face flushing and knew it was nothing to do with the icy temperature - the warming charm he'd performed before leaving the toasty warm castle was still working, but right now, he was sure he didn't need any magic to help him feel warm.

"Tonks I…I don't want to let you go." He meant it but he hadn't meant to say it out loud. "I mean this is nice, you're nice, but we should, it's cold and I'm sure you're cold and…"

What was he doing? He was old, poor and dangerous and she only knew about two of those things. He should never have allowed it to go this far. They had been getting too close, too familiar with each other. He had even told her she was perfect and extraordinary one day after a class about the Witching Hour poem. Their friendship had continued to deepen until two weeks ago when the effects of waxing moon had bought him to his senses. He knew then he had to be cold, distant, pull away for her sake. He had intended to stay that way after the moon had waned but as well as being a monster, he was weak. He had missed her. Missed her smile, her company, and her eyes.

He had used the pretence of needing to speak to her about Harry. Checking what she thought about him, giving Harry patronus lessons after the holidays, but he would have taken any opportunity to speak to her, see her, feel her touch.

He loosened his grip on her waist, he certainly was not going to let her fall, but he needed some distance. He knew if she kissed him he'd never be able to go back. She deserved to know the whole truth, that he would be a danger to her as he was to anyone who got close to him.

Tonks wanted desperately to kiss him. To end this charade of 'fast friends' that they'd built up over the past few months. What scared her was he seemed to want this too. She couldn't allow that. Not yet. Not until he knew everything. He had a right to know. She had wrestled with herself for a long time as to whether she should put Remus' name on her report after the Quidditch match. In the end though, she knew there was no debate. He was there. Her report had to be accurate. She felt as though she had betrayed him.

Remus was old fashioned and for all her ribbing it was something she found endearing because he wasn't old fashioned in a derogatory way, she'd never seen Remus respond to anyone without showing respect, manors and decorum, even when Remus was dealing with Snape! Still, she didn't know enough to be sure. Would he, not only accept her as a metamorphagus and be able to love that part of her, which she sometimes struggled to accept and love herself, but also trust her again. He was a person of interest in the case of Sirius Black and it was all her fault. She didn't want to pull away, but she knew she couldn't kiss him until he knew everything.

Remus did not want to pull away and for them both to fall, neither did he want to be a monster who allowed someone to kiss him when they didn't know they were kissing a monster. He knew Tonks was different, he'd even in the past few weeks started to feel certain that she'd still accept him. Maybe even, be open to being his friend once he finally plucked up the courage to tell her his secret, but he knew that no one would ever be able to love that part of him that he would never be able to love himself.

Tonks moved her head and looked at him straight in the eyes. He knew he needed to do something, to stop this before it could go any further.

Tonks knew she couldn't stand here, in his arms staring into his eyes for much longer. One of them was going to lean in and she couldn't stand the idea of rejecting him when she so wanted to be curled in his arms forever. Without thinking she spoke into the silence that had developed between them.

"Remus…"

Remus smiled, her voice in the stillness was like a symphony.

"Hmmm?"

"Can we go inside now? It's just the snow really did get through several layers and I've got an awfully wet bum." She was nothing if not an effective mood killer. She felt Remus chuckle as he pulled her out of the icy patch which had been her downfall and back onto more compacted snow.

Once Tonks was steady on her own two feet the pair parted. Both immediately feeling bereft. Remus felt so cold. He couldn't tell if his warming charm had worn off or if he was just missing the sensation of having Tonks near.

After a few tentative steps, Remus felt an arm slip through his, his hands deep in his pockets to keep them from the icy wind, allowed Tonks to hold his upper arm perfectly.

"You don't mind do you?" Tonks smiled up at him.

Remus tried to capture that look. He was sure that if he ever felt the darkness creeping in again, if his past began to suffocate him, he just knew that remembering this moment, that face, so beautiful and pure could bring enough light and happiness to him to overcome any darkness his mind could throw at him.

"It would be my honour to escort you back to the castle Ms Tonks."

Tonks snorted, it sounded in such dissonance to the soft husky voice she'd had much of this evening and yet it was so perfectly Tonks.

"I'm not heading back to the Castle after all this hard work. We're making it to the three broomsticks if I have to carry you there."

Now it was Remus' turn to snort. "I'd like to see you try."

Without a beat, Tonks turned to Remus and swept him of his feet, carrying him firefighter style, as though he weighed no more than a feather. Remus was caught completely off guard.

"Tonks! Put me down! How on earth are you carrying me!"

"Auror training, we're made to carry cargo three times the size of our own body weight in case we can't use magic and ever have to carry a colleague out of a danger zone. I'm not sure walking from Hogwarts to the Three Broom Sticks was ever what the training was designed for…"

Remus couldn't help but beam. Carrying him certainly wasn't slowing Tonks down, the snow was doing that all on its own.

"I think I better put you down before we both fa…..

DRAGON TURD!"

The pair landed on the floor in a thud. Arms and legs flailed on the cold, snowy ground.

Remus couldn't stop laughing.

"Remus."

"Yes Tonks."

"Now my bum is really really wet. Let's head back to the castle and drink that firewhisky I know you've got hiding in your desk drawer."

Remus quickly pulled Tonks up so as not to repeat their earlier near miss. "Deal! Let's go."


End file.
